The Untitled Letter

Dear You,

we have known each other for ages now, and yet we are like strangers still.

Let's introduce ourselves again.

Hi, I am me. I am very petty and childish and temperamental. I am loud and headstrong and a tad bit judgmental.

I like sweets and furry little animals. I paint, I write, I take pictures.

I always cry when I'm sad, sing when I'm happy, and rant when I'm mad.

I am afraid of too many things in the world, but I am trying to face them one by one.

I have had a strange life, but at the same time rich and colorful. At times they were difficult. At times they were painful. I have been heartbroken many times in my life, yet I am not immune to heartbreak.

In fact, I am more sensitive to it.

I break because of stupid things, but that does not make me stupid.

I have tried to meet you halfway. Get into the things that you're into so we'd have more things to talk about, celebrate special occasions, share my happiness and frustrations with you, I've even helped you with school.

But like I said, I'm very petty. I can list down the things in my life I have had to alter in order to fit you into my life. I am a hermit who does not easily let someone in, but I made space for you and you left it empty.

So now there is a gaping hole inside of me where you should be. I'm thinking of plugging it in with more toys and superstar/superhero worship.

And just as I said, I am very childish. I have been screening your calls and messages because I am a coward. If I talk to you now, if I hear you talk as if nothing is wrong between us, everything will be back to the way it was. To you, things are always fine. To you, we never have issues. You're all about fun and games and funny songs and little dancing figures.

If I picked up the phone, I would give in and pretend that this has been resolved and silently pray that this will be the last time that I will be made to feel this way.

But it would not be the last. I have felt this way for ages.

I have tried talking with you, talking to you, throwing hysterical fits, none of them worked. Nothing has changed.


I guess I'm just using up my final ounce of silliness and await some sort of grand gesture from you. But of course, that will never happen. You don't believe in grand gestures. You don't believe in effort or trying.

So now I'm going to believe in giving up.

I do not have any friends that can help you out or give you hints, so I don't know how long it will take for you to read this and realize what it was all about. Honestly, right now I'm convinced that I am no longer important in your life. If that is the case, then I accept it, but I must humbly take a bow... and make my exit.



Life is too short.

And by the time you understand that, I would have been long gone.