where dreamers come to love... and lovers come to dream

The Slow Moving Feet

2010-09-24T00:51:00.000+08:00

This would be my final post written from the valley.

I had originally intended to write a long farewell post, but the dangers of sounding like I've been given the death sentence is present. LOL.

Going abroad is a gift, an adventure, and I try hard to keep that in mind. Alas, even hermits have things (and pets and people) that are hard to leave behind. To list down everything I will miss would be an impossibly tedious task, but then again, I figured out a way to simply it.

What I will miss:
1. EVERYTHING.

*sigh*

My bags are all packed (slightly overpacked by MAS standards, actually) and lined up by the door. To have packed up my entire existence into two suitcases was in itself an emotional process.

There are certain things about the valley that cannot be seen elsewhere, cannot be replicated by anyone. There are things about the valley that belong to the valley, in the valley.

I have lived in this valley, this house, this room almost all my life, and the thought of having to start another life elsewhere fills my stomach with butterflies.

This is it then.
One small step for man, one giant leap into the future.

Farewell valley,
until we meet again.

aj redmusketeer,
9th Rock SDE.

The Slow-movingTraffic

2010-09-22T02:12:00.002+08:00

I bought a cabin bag at 70% off today.

It's mine. All mine.

I'm so happy.

In the last round, I decided to pack two of each kind. Realizing that I need to be more practical in my packing, I have managed to pare it down to this:

That should do it for the winter.

An update on my list:

1. ~~A rainbow camera strap for my new ancient slr~~ found one on eBay
2. ~~A camera bag for my new ancient slr~~ He returned what was rightfully mine
3. ~~Timbuk2 backpack~~. Can't order it, don't have enough time

4. ~~New earphones because the one I have now is dead in one ear~~ Philips all the way!

5. ~~A violet Baekgaard mini card case to replace the coral one I have that's about to die out on me~~ can't seem to find them on eBay anymore. *sigh*
6. ~~MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Naturals in Medium~~ too drying for the winter
7. ~~Selsun (yellow bottle) it's the ONLY shampoo I can use~~

8. ~~Straight cut dark wash 100% cotton jeans~~ finally got them!!!

9. ~~Cotton pants. In brown and navy blue~~found them at FOS for RM18 & RM15 each

10. A boyfriend blazer because I do not have boyfriends who I can steal blazers from

11. ~~Canvas fluorescent yellow belt with eyelets punched into them~~
~~12. Black chucks. Or dark grey. OMG I can't decide!~~ got the grey ones with the slightly larger eyelets
13. A pretty Starbucks tumbler. Ask me which one
~~14. Waterproof (transparent) Otterboxes to keep my toys tidy~~ Otterboxes turn out to be too chunky. I'll stick to Daiso containers
15. ~~A 2010/2011 18-month planner~~
16. ~~Paint brushes. Or even better, water brushes~~ Water brushes are awesome!!!

17. ~~Watercolour sketchbooks. Because I ran out~~

18. ~~And regular sketchbooks. Because I will run out~~ bought the Unicorn Color kinds for RM10.90 each
19. The Winsor & Newton Bijou Box. Because I'm jaded HAHA
20. ~~Derwent Aquatone solid watercolour sticks~~
~~21. Pencil wrap/roll. Because my pencils won't fit in the tackle box that I use as my pen/pencil holder~~ found a black one by Niji on eBay
22. ~~Turqoise Western Digital Passport. We'll discuss the GBs later~~ Fat chance
23. ~~A digital alarm clock which also doubles as an ipod dock/speaker~~ Will be cheaper over there
24. ~~An Instax mini polaroid camera!!!~~ I'll get this with my first paycheck. Assuming I survive that long

25. Money. In Dollar, Ringgit or Renminbi

And the booklist?

1. Around The World In Eighty Days, Jules Verne
2. The Pigeon, Patrick Süskind
3. The Glass Menagerie, Tennessee Williams
4. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
5. The Catcher In The Rye, J.D. Salinger
6. [fill in blank]
7. Phoenix Wright (1)
8. Phoenix Wright (2)
9. The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
10. And of course, Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen.

Oh yeah, exciting news. I finally own the Lamy Safari Vista with a medium nib. The medium nib writes smoothly, but I've read that the extra-fine is also good. Would be nice to be able to try that out as well but I can't find any replacement nibs on eBay. Any ideas?

Currently trying out a black ink from a cartridge. Cartridges are more practical at the moment, since piston-powered fountain pen do not travel well on airplanes unless we empty out the reservoir or fill it up entirely (no air, no leaks)

I hope to find good ink in Beijing, considering it IS the land of calligraphy.

I wonder if Lamy ever made it to China?

Er.

Farm-o-saurus Rex...?

Really, Zynga?

The Oncoming Traffic

2010-09-19T00:20:00.003+08:00

I am less than a week away from adopting a new life, and I've gotten to think about the one I narrowly escaped.

No matter how stylish its made up to look, I still can't see myself joining the black and white profession. I've spoken to too many unhappy people to know that I wouldn't be able to put on a black suit and live to tell about it.

I went to the store looking for a jacket. First tried a black one, didn't like how it looked on me. I thought it was the cut, so I tried again with a different style. Couldn't get that one to work either. Same thing happened with a third.

And then I realized that it wasn't how the jacket fit me that was the issue, it was the color. Long story short, I ended up paying 60% off for one in a color I would describe as Payne's Grey.

No black jacket for me, sorry, no.

And with that, I just knew that four years of law school would have been for nothing, and that that little piece of paper with the famous initials printed after my name will be of no use to me for at least another two years.

Because what put me off wasn't the ordinariness of a black jacket, but what it could mean to put one on. A desk. A courtroom. Briefs. Clients. And other people also in black and white.

Ick.

I love words. Words are beautiful. The greatest gift my mom ever gave me (other than my existence, that is) was the love for both written and spoken words. I read when I was four and wrote when I turned nine. Naturally, I agreed to read law because lawyers rely on words, and that sounded good at first.

As much as I adore Batman and the idea of wearing a black cape to save lives myself sounds appealing, dress shoes changed everything and now I am about to leave the country in order to escape the dreaded black jacket.

I have observed quite a few miserable lawyers. Many are looking to find their way out, but very few succeed. I may have. Perhaps I succeeded because I have yet to fall in, whereas the others are already at least waist-deep and can barely breathe - let alone run.

Maybe I should have downloaded this and practiced!

LOL.

Ladies and gentlemen, I shall become the journalist in the Batman tee and grey colored chucks. Wish me luck!

The Oncoming Life

2010-09-17T00:48:00.003+08:00

If I laid down and fell asleep, pigs would chew on my belt.

What savage times we live in.

I chose two of every item from my makeup stash and now I'm convinced I need to pare it down to just one of each kind.

Tough decision. I feel like I need to bring everything with me...

But it's not like I'm never coming back here, LOL.

Got my haircut and had my mugshots taken. Both of which now give me butterflies in my tummy.

My farm!

I'm almost done with my list!!!

1. ~~A rainbow camera strap for my new ancient slr~~ found one on eBay
2. ~~A camera bag for my new ancient slr~~ He returned what was rightfully mine
3. ~~Timbuk2 backpack~~. Can't order it, don't have enough time

4. ~~New earphones because the one I have now is dead in one ear~~

5. A violet Baekgaard mini card case to replace the coral one I have that's about to die out on me
6. MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Naturals in Medium
7. ~~Selsun (yellow bottle) it's the ONLY shampoo I can use~~

8. Straight cut dark wash 100% cotton jeans

9. ~~Cotton pants. In brown and navy blue~~ found them at FOS for RM18 & RM15 each

10. A boyfriend blazer because I do not have boyfriends who I can steal blazers from

17. ~~Watercolour sketchbooks. Because I ran out~~

25. Money. In Dollar, Ringgit or Renminbi

But I'm not done packing yet.

*sigh*

Drawing/painting with Derwent Aquatone sticks : awesome. Awesome. AWESOME.

Books that will survive the relocation:

1. Around The World In Eighty Days, Jules Verne
2. The Pigeon, Patrick Süskind
3. The Glass Menagerie, Tennessee Williams
4. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
5. The Catcher In The Rye, J.D. Salinger
6. [fill in blank]
7. [fill in blank]
8. [fill in blank]
9. The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
10. And of course, Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen.

Yeah, yeah, I need to pick three more books. It's not easy deciding on ten titles out of a seven foot bookcase.

The Untitled Letter

2010-09-08T00:44:00.000+08:00

Dear You,

we have known each other for ages now, and yet we are like strangers still.

Let's introduce ourselves again.

Hi, I am me. I am very petty and childish and temperamental. I am loud and headstrong and a tad bit judgmental.

I like sweets and furry little animals. I paint, I write, I take pictures.

I always cry when I'm sad, sing when I'm happy, and rant when I'm mad.

I am afraid of too many things in the world, but I am trying to face them one by one.

I have had a strange life, but at the same time rich and colorful. At times they were difficult. At times they were painful. I have been heartbroken many times in my life, yet I am not immune to heartbreak.

In fact, I am more sensitive to it.

I break because of stupid things, but that does not make me stupid.

I have tried to meet you halfway. Get into the things that you're into so we'd have more things to talk about, celebrate special occasions, share my happiness and frustrations with you, I've even helped you with school.

But like I said, I'm very petty. I can list down the things in my life I have had to alter in order to fit you into my life. I am a hermit who does not easily let someone in, but I made space for you and you left it empty.

So now there is a gaping hole inside of me where you should be. I'm thinking of plugging it in with more toys and superstar/superhero worship.

And just as I said, I am very childish. I have been screening your calls and messages because I am a coward. If I talk to you now, if I hear you talk as if nothing is wrong between us, everything will be back to the way it was. To you, things are always fine. To you, we never have issues. You're all about fun and games and funny songs and little dancing figures.

If I picked up the phone, I would give in and pretend that this has been resolved and silently pray that this will be the last time that I will be made to feel this way.

But it would not be the last. I have felt this way for ages.

I have tried talking with you, talking to you, throwing hysterical fits, none of them worked. Nothing has changed.

I guess I'm just using up my final ounce of silliness and await some sort of grand gesture from you. But of course, that will never happen. You don't believe in grand gestures. You don't believe in effort or trying.

So now I'm going to believe in giving up.

I do not have any friends that can help you out or give you hints, so I don't know how long it will take for you to read this and realize what it was all about. Honestly, right now I'm convinced that I am no longer important in your life. If that is the case, then I accept it, but I must humbly take a bow... and make my exit.

Life is too short.

And by the time you understand that, I would have been long gone.

The Listed Life

2010-09-07T13:52:00.003+08:00

Did not sleep last night partly because of pain and discomfort, partly because of my anxiety issues.

So I ended up planting raspberries on Farmville all night long.

Hey, at least I put my time to good use.

Need to:

1. Buy ticket and process visa

I actually have not bought my plane ticket, so at this point my departure date is really up to me. I thought I would have reasons to stick around here a little longer and leave at the latest possible date, but hey, hermits have no reasons to stick around, right?

2. Eat more Japanese food

The only kind of food I will miss and still be too lazy to make at home.

3. Sift through clothing

But my luggage is still missing!!! How do I know how much I can bring if I can't fill up my luggage and see what fits and what won't...?

4. Bake biscuits

Because eid is nigh.

5. Give pigs a bath

Because they smell. And that reflects badly on me as their caretaker.

6. Go shopping for guinea pig supplies

Because guinea pigs are not known to do their own shopping

I want a duo fiber makeup brush. I don't really know why, since I don't wear foundation, and hardly ever need to tone down blushers or whatnot.

Maybe because it's pretty. Hahaha.

I dreamt I was marrying Josh Lucas, but that's not important.

The wedding reception was at a shopping mall, but that too was not important.

I wore a beautiful beaded white dress, still not important. I was gorgeous, nope, nothing. Many people came. Still nada.

The banquet hall was next to Borders, now that starts to increase in importance.

I ran off from the reception into Borders and started picking out Moleskines. THAT was important.

This dream has inspired me to get married close to Borders.

I just hope Josh will understand.

Why I do well as a hermit:
1. I hate locking doors but equally hate being walked in on
2. I'm not very good at sharing things
3. My favorite things to do can be done in my lonesome. Like drawing/painting. And writing. And reading
4. eBay
5. People distract me. I hate teamwork and I accomplish more when I'm by myself

My 16 year old cat has a death wish and has been refusing to eat anything for over a month now. We force feed her with a syringe. And by we, I mean I. Because dirty things like these are often left to me.

Neither of us enjoy the twice a day feeding sessions, and I try to make it as painful for her as possible so as to entice her into eating by herself.

I now know I have a masochist of a cat. She still won't touch her food.

I am still awaiting eight parcels from all over the world. The 'oldest' I await is nearly six weeks old. That is from the US. International shipping and all, that's still a little long. However the most ridiculous I await is one from Singapore supposedly mailed out three weeks ago.

It's funny because some items ordered from the UK arrive within a week. The most fantastic was my watercolor paintbox which only took 4 days.

Pos Malaysia is amazing. Nothing is predictable anymore.

Going to get a haircut.

Since I'll be working for a radio station, bad hair days should be the last on my list of concerns, but I'd still like to sport a more manageable cut.

And less hair equals less shampoo and conditioner, right?

I love apples.

Among the greatest loss I have felt since I had my braces put on? Not being able to bite into an apple.

*sigh*

Unlike other fruits, oranges or strawberries for example - which I do not miss eating because of their braces-friendly alternatives - an appleless existence has hit me hard. Sipping apple juice or eating apple sauce is just not the same.

The Listed Truth

2010-09-05T00:17:00.002+08:00

This sucks.

Yesterday I fell of my chair right onto my right knee. Now it's bruised and swollen.

Today I went groceries shopping and this woman runs her shopping cart right into my injured knee. She then gives me this "Oh quit exaggerating!" look on her face because I looked like I was about to die from the pain. No apologies.

I also went to the dentist to have my braces tightened. The doctor yanked on some parts of my wire to loosen my fangs a bit so they'd move a little quicker. He also plastered on dental composites onto my bottom molars to make sure my top and bottom teeth don't meet. Now there's a half inch gap between the two. It's amazing. Dude really wants me to starve to death. Or survive on soup entirely.

He must own shares of the Campbell soup company.

Anyway I got home, noticed something sticking to Koko's face, grabbed him, studied the offending article and tried to peel it off.

He bit me. Ouch.

This sucks.

Oh hey, I'm actually making good progress with my list!

1. ~~A rainbow camera strap for my new ancient slr~~ found one on eBay
2. ~~A camera bag for my new ancient slr~~ He returned what was rightfully mine
3. ~~Timbuk2 backpack~~. Can't order it, don't have enough time

4. New earphones because the one I have now is dead in one ear

8. Straight cut dark wash 100% cotton jeans

9. ~~Cotton pants. In brown and navy blue~~ found them at FOS for RM18 & RM15 each

10. A boyfriend blazer because I do not have boyfriends who I can steal blazers from

11. Canvas fluorescent yellow belt with eyelets punched into them
12. Black chucks. Or dark grey. OMG I can't decide!
13. A pretty Starbucks tumbler. Ask me which one
14. Waterproof (transparent) Otterboxes to keep my toys tidy
15. A 2010/2011 18-month planner
16. ~~Paint brushes. Or even better, water brushes~~ Water brushes are awesome!!!

17. Watercolour sketchbooks. Because I ran out

25. Money. In Dollar, Ringgit or Renminbi

I have this giant crate which I'm using to measure the things that will survive my relocation. Basically this is what I've decided on:

For toiletries, this is all I need. I wash my entire self with pears soap, and my hair with the yellow Selsun. The lotion goes on my face and Differin deals with any possible hormonal acne.

I'll buy my Hada Labo Toning Lotion and whatever body cream when I get there.

I've decided on these three bags:

One messenger, one backpack, and one tote.

The category of packables with the most items: makeup.

The basic idea is that I bring two of each kind, two compacts, two blushers, two lipbalms, two lipsticks, two lipglosses, two kabukis, two 'stippling' brushes, two eye pencils, two eyeshadows, two mascara, two eye makeup brushes.

I added a concealer to the list. And a Dr Pepper lipbalm because it smells awesome.

I do realize that in the end, I will end up just using the Maybelline compact, the Tarte stain, and the clear mascara. I just want the rest to be around - just in case.

Yet to do: finalize clothing.

Also, banana and nutella = slices of heaven.

I have to slice bananas before eating them, but yeah whatever.

The Out Of Reach Truth

2010-08-22T19:05:00.016+08:00

The truth is, I have written and rewritten this entry a number of times. Each time I click the discard button rather than the publish post button. I am getting too old to write here.

The truth is, I'm leaving. In about three weeks. Adios.

I got a job in Beijing and just signed a 2 year contract with CRI. I report for duty middle of September.

I have yet to decide what goes with me and... *weeps* what gets left behind.

The truth is, I love taking pictures and I love cameras and I'm having so much trouble deciding which is my absolute most favorite camera of all... *SIGH*

The truth is, I felt like smacking Jason real hard after watching Under The Red Hood. How dare he do that to his (awesome and handsome) father???!!!

Smack him!!!

The truth is, I have no idea where to find 100% cotton denim anymore - at least none with a flattering cut. Everything that looks nice either has spandex or elastane or lycra or some other stretchy material in them that might as well be rubber.

Stretchy clothes make me itch. I have no idea why, it's one of those mysteries I have yet to get to the bottom of, but the point is, I only wear cotton denims. And they're starting to become extinct.

The truth is, these things would make me a much much happier person, but let's face it, they're pretty cliche and quite hard to gift

1. Rainbows
2. Snow
3. Furry mammals
4. Batman
5. World peace

So instead let's go through the list of things that would make me materialistically happy.

1. ~~A rainbow camera strap for my new ancient slr~~
2. ~~A camera bag for my new ancient slr~~
3. Timbuk2 backpack. Sorry Sammy, time to move away from black backpacks
4. New earphones because the one I have now is dead in one ear
5. A violet Baekgaard mini card case to replace the coral one I have that's about to die out on me
6. MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Naturals in Medium
7. ~~Selsun (yellow bottle) it's the ONLY shampoo I can use~~
8. Straight cut dark wash 100% cotton jeans
9. ~~Cotton pants. In brown and navy blue~~
10. A boyfriend blazer because I do not have boyfriends who I can steal blazers from
11. Canvas fluorescent yellow belt with eyelets punched into them
12. Black chucks. Or dark grey. OMG I can't decide!
13. A pretty Starbucks tumbler. Ask me which one
14. Waterproof (transparent) Otterboxes to keep my toys tidy
15. A 2010/2011 18-month planner
16. ~~Paint brushes. Or even better, waterbrushes~~
17. Watercolour sketchbooks. Because I ran out
18. ~~And regular sketchbooks. Because I will run out~~
19. The Winsor & Newton Bijou Box. Because I'm jaded HAHA
20. ~~Derwent Aquatone solid watercolour sticks~~
21. ~~Pencil wrap/roll. Because my pencils won't fit in the tackle box that I use as my pen/pencil holder~~
22. Turqoise Western Digital Passport. We'll discuss the GBs later
23. A digital alarm clock which also doubles as an ipod dock/speaker
24. An Instax mini polaroid camera!!!
25. Money. In Dollar, Ringgit or Renminbi

The ones in bold are desperately needed/wanted.

In case you can't think of any occasion that could warrant this enormous wishlist, it's my congratulations, farewell, birthday, eid, eid again, xmas and new years list all rolled into one.

The truth is, I have been eating less and less and then less still. The less I eat, the less hungry I get. The less hungry I am the less I eat. It's a vicious cycle that has led to me losing almost 10lbs in just 10 days. Which is almost 10% of my total body weight. Now there's a bunch of tens.

The truth is, I don't know why I still write here... because I know nobody reads this blog anymore. Maybe it's the whole needing an outlet where one can bitch and whine while still remaining (mostly) anonymous, I don't know.

The Out Of Reach Adobe

2010-08-03T13:36:00.002+08:00

I still have no Adobe Photoshop or Illustrator. It's driving me nuts. I've been drawing everything on paper. Though I admit it's still the best way to draw, my scanner is not on speaking terms with this new computer, so there's no way for me to transfer my work onto my computer.

*sigh*

I refuse to pay for the real thing because I don't think they're worth that much, and quite frankly, how can I be expected to afford them?

If only I had the time to go hunting for pirated CS5 cds.

*sigh*

I tried to install from a downloaded file, they wanted the product key which was conveniently missing from from the bunch of downloaded files. I tried to install a trial version of Photoshop CS5, they wouldn't let me install it in English.

Since me no habla Espanol, or Dutch or anything other than English, I gave up.

Look, our government finds that I am a person of good conduct. It says so right here.

If only they knew. HAHAHA

About six weeks ago I found it harder and harder to read anything as the day progresses. Meaning after lunch every day my eyesight would start to deteriorate. I thought I'd needed a new prescription for my glasses, so I went to get my eyes tested.

The opticians, obviously wanting to sell new glasses to me, told me that I needed new glasses. No surprise there.

I went to an eye clinic soon after for a second opinion.

The findings were rather shocking! I DIDN'T NEED NEW GLASSES.

My inability to read after lunch is due to my eyes being tired and strained, yes, but not because my current pair of glasses were unable to correct my eyesight. Rather it's because I had extremely, extremely dry eyes.

The eye clinic prescribed me with two kinds of foul tasting antibiotic eyedrops to be instilled 4 times a day. This would, after a few months, help solve my dry eyes problem. It turns out my persistent dry eyes are the result of allergies - in fact the eye doctor insists that it was a long-term exposure to the allergens that triggered the reaction.

Along with that he also gave me eyedrops containing hyaluronic acid to moisturize my eyes while the allergies are being cleared. It takes about 3 months to clear infected glands, it turns out. So while the medicine is doing it's work from the inside, this other drop will work on the outside.

Hyaluronic acid. LOL. That's the same stuff in the lotion I use to moisturize my face!

Now, after six weeks of treatment, I can now read until about... 4 in the evening.

And by read I don't mean a book in a well lit room. I talking about the plates on that car right in front of our car. Or the giant billboard across the street.

I wonder if Superman, with his microwave vision and all, suffers from eye fatigue from time to time?

I sent my F55 in for repairs. Nikon quoted me RM1,229.00. It costs less than RM120.00 to just buy a new used body (in pristine condition) from eBay.

Why don't I just buy a brand new body? Well, the F55 was last made in 2002. I think it's fair to conclude that it'd be impossible to find one still in the box eight years later. This is, after all, the digital age.

I seem to remember promising pictures from my trip to the bird park and the zoo.

Three best pictures from the zoo are here:

Yes, there were superheroes at the national zoo! LOL

The ones from the bird park will come later. But I promise NO superheroes.

Okay, the giraffe picture made me hungry.

Time for nutella covered bananas.

The Long Lost Adobe

2010-07-28T00:04:00.003+08:00

This computer lacks Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. Instead I am stuck with Photoshop Elements. Which I have never used before. Hence do not really know how to use. My only other option would be MSPaint.

Sure, Paint is no longer as we remember it, but still...

So in my effort to adapt to Elements (since I still have no time to go buy pirated copies of CS5s) and to make my entry slightly bit longer, I have come up with these. I also have pictures from the bird park and the national zoo, but those aren't ready yet. Be patient.

These should speak for themselves, but let me know anyway if there's anything that you can't make out.

Things in my bag.

My makeup stash at the moment.

Last but not least,
what I'd like to be wearing to work.

Hahaha
Sorry. I really have nothing clever to write about right now.

Suggestions...?

The Long Lost Word

2010-07-12T01:11:00.007+08:00

Hello. The long lost word is hello.

It's been more than three months since I got lazy and quit writing. Haha. Much has changed.

My attachment with the FOE just ended (with me not renewing my contract due to personal reasons) so I'm back to being a jobless adult living in my parents' house.

I say just ended, when in fact it's been almost two weeks of rolling on the floor of my bedroom.

My daily activities now no longer include the half an hour commute to campus, or having to nervously wave at colleagues horrified at the sight of me brushing my teeth at the bathroom sink every day after lunch. I also have less laundry to do.

Now it's just me, my sketchbook, and the Caped Crusader reruns playing on my giant electron tube television set. All day, every day. Oh yeah baby!

Okay, sorry, Batman and Robin jogging? NOT what's been playing on my tv. This is:

There. Much better.

I also got a haircut. Come to think of it, got a haircut would not be the best way to describe the events that transpired. It was actually just me attacking my head with a pair of scissors in the middle of the night fueled by absolute hatred at how my hair was covering up my pretty face.

I should have left them scissors alone. Needless to say I was not so happy with the end results, hence no picture here. Just goes to show what madness at two in the morning can do to a person.

I don't really look like Crazy Harry. The insane world destruction vibe yes. The eyes maybe. The weird gangly arms possibly. The hair... nah, a little longer. But the teeth DEFINITELY NOT.

I have braces on now.

The Last Word

2010-03-31T20:35:00.002+08:00

The Last Rocket

2010-03-25T10:18:00.007+08:00

I've run out of fuel.

Once upon a time I promised myself that I wouldn't allow any situation to trap me or change me.

At that time I was slightly over four feet tall and wanted to be so many things. I settled on magician because I believed that was the only was I could be all that I was meant to be. And I also believed that there were strange creatures living under my bed that would eat my limbs should they ever dangle off the bed while I slept. It would make grunting sounds from time to time.

Granted I was a paranoid-sociopathic-nerd back then, (nb: there was a creature living under my bed, only not that strange; it was one of my cats) I knew exactly what I needed to do.

My destiny was supposed to be a great one - or so I believed. And that was why I was always tested, tortured, isolated. I knew that there was this greatness I am meant to touch with my own two hands and embrace. But I can only do so if I was strong enough. And I was strong enough. And I knew exactly what I needed to do.

Fast forward ten fifteen years later and I'm lost.

I never went through the whole I hate my parents and the whole world can go to hell because it doesn't understand me teenage angst... but I never felt like I was where I should be.

The thought that I was an alien from another planet was a comforting one, because that would explain why I can never form any real connection with most human beings on earth. (I say on earth because I've never met any of the human beings in space) I always looked to the sky because maybe, just maybe, that's where I came from and therefore that's where I should be.

Of course all that was bullshit. I am indeed an earthling - though an unnaturally tortured one. And the minute I started accepting that I was part of the human race, I became the loneliest earthling on earth. (again, I say on earth)

I don't know whether this is really me writing or just little part of me that's deranged from fever meds, but once upon a time I believed I wanted to be heard. Now I just wait for my paycheck.

Once upon a time I was fearless, uncensored (but never vulgar, please!) and on fire.

I fed on books most people used as paperweights or door stoppers and the appetite for knowledge was insatiable. My doors were locked, the curtains closed, but I never suffocated. The world I lived in was filled with travel and adventure. And heroism.

Fast forward ten fifteen years later and I am barely breathing.

The search for a better world, - one where we won't merely exist, one where we look each other in the eye and recognize what we see being reflected, one where we don't clock in and clock out and never see the sun because we're trapped in our own little cubes, one which I knew did not merely exist between two hard covers, - has ceased to be important.

Once upon a time there was a dreamer who wrote here. That dreamer did not write about little things like toys and pretty little things. That dreamer wrote from the heart.

I started writing when I was nine. Back then, other than a special someone I saw on some weekends and school holidays, writing was my only escape.

Fast forward ten fifteen years later (okay, I know the math is wrong for this one) I grew up into the adult I swore I would never grow up into. One without heart.

I know I am meant for bigger, greater things. Wonderful things. I know that this thing, this routine that currently sums up my life, is not where I should be.

I don't belong in here. I belong out there.

Out there.

Out there.

Once upon a time there lived a magician who could set herself on fire at will. She bowed down to no tyrannical king. She never paid attention to what was said about her.

But fairy tales rarely have happy endings. Not before they are edited.

And never outside of a children's book.

Oh.
Not a suicide note. Don't panic.

I'm still terribly afraid of dying.

I realize that most of us are in some kind of pain/torture and greatly seek escape. Tis the nature of the twisted world we live in.

But I seem to see more people untouched and unaffected by pain. Why are they immune?

I envy the simpletons who do not have to carry so many things with them; and within them. I envy the plastic people who smile all the time. I envy optimists. I envy the ones who are blissfully ignorant.

And yet my head will not allow me to join those people.

While most tortures are from the external, my supernatural tortures - the one that give me headaches and fevers - come from within my own head. This head that cannot be quiet. One that will not shut up. One that has dialogues and debates and conferences even when I am sitting still. Or should I say especially when I am sitting still.

One that has lost all hope for human kind and now plots to destroy it.

I wonder how many live inside my head? And I wonder if one of them will eventually slay the others. And when that happens, I wonder who will be left?

This is turning into one emo/psycho creepy entry.

Oh yeah.

I just read Y The Last Man in one sitting.

By Y I meant the entire 60 volumes. And by one sitting I meant my ass was so sore because plastic swivel chairs aren't meant to be sat on through entire 60 volumes of graphic novel goodness without even once getting up.

Ouch.

And finally,

fire drill + wikipedia + night terrors + running out of fuel + Y = a fever

...before I forget, I think you should know that I'm about to join the dark side of the Force.

The Blue Rocket

2010-03-11T08:51:00.007+08:00

Right now I'm dying to find some time to read Y: The Last Man.

Time, and some kind soul to download it for me.
Ha ha.

Seriously, adulthood.is.the.lemon. Especially when you clock in more than ten hours a day and don't get paid OT because you're not good enough.

And why aren't you good enough? Because The Man says you're not good enough. And that reasoning should be good enough.

Remind me again why I did four and a half years of law...?

I miss the good old lazy days of lying on the floor with a game console in my hand.

I've yet to complete Dawn of Sorrow *sigh* and

Speaking of game consoles, this March 28th the new DSiXL will hit the market. How is it different from the DSi? It's not so much of a system upgrade, but it's a hell of a lot larger. Hence the XL.

Oh, and since it's larger, it will also sport a jumbo pen-like stylus.

I don't believe it.
In this day and age, aren't we all trying to make things smaller?

I guess there are benefits to a larger console: LARGER SCREENS! Perhaps there will be less four-eyed geeks in the future if parents were to buy these XLs for their little geeks-in-the-making.

Complain all we want about Nintendo screwing with the DS design so much, so long as Nintendo doesn't actually come up with the Nintendo BS, us Nintendonians shouldn't have a cause to abandon our loyalty.

Current songs on repeat:
1. Daddy's Gone - Glasvegas
2. Take On Me - A-ha
3. You Win Again - Bee Gees

Random things bought out of need:

I have never spent money on a computer mouse before, always relied on all the freebies I manage to squeeze out of shops. This time when the last of my mice went kaput, I decided to get something nice. Something wireless. Something purple.

I have also always relied on the TM issued phones, but have too often dreamt of something that won't choke me to death if I twirl around too much while I talk. Something cordless.

They were on sale, so I got the pink Panasonic DECT. The Blue One got the blue one.

Now we can make phone calls for free.

Random things to do in the next 5 years:
1. Become a guinea pig grandparent through the marvel of modern science. I have two boars.
2. Finish playing Lunar Knights. I've had this for almost two years now and have yet to reach the final levels. I keep restarting the game. HA HA
3. Go hiking
4. Land a job that pays OT and offers medical and dental. Haha. I wish
5. Alter views on DSLR's, become rich and own one

Speaking of which, my brother and his wife bought themselves a Nikon D3000. Nothing fancy. But still pricy after exchaging the kit lense for the 18-105mm.

The rich just keeps getting richer?

Bah.
I'd take the 1979 EM over the D series in a heartbeat.

What do you do when you pay RM11k per term each term and find out your school's new campus won't even provide you with a space to park your car?

I suggest mutiny.

Music to my ears.

"After six seasons, ABC’s critically-acclaimed drama Lost will close out with a one-hour recap special and a two-hour series finale airing between 8-11 PM EST Sunday May 23, ABC President Stephen McPherson said Wednesday."

Finally.

HA HA HA

The Blue Day

2010-02-21T20:25:00.004+08:00

This promises to be a picture heavy entry, and by heavy, I mean there will be more than the usual random couple of pictures posted. Because I got trigger happy with the camera. And felt the need to share. Because sharing truly is caring.

Okay CUT!

First up, someone from work just got married.

Haven't gotten to know her that well yet, but she extended her invitation personally I thought it would be nice to show a little support. She's a few years younger than I am, which got me to thinking...

- but hey, love and getting married and all that has nothing to do with age right?

And hell yeah!
There was a bubble blowing machine present. Those are actual soap bubbles, not some neat camera/photoshop trick. Kids went crazy over the bubbles. Always the child at heart, I was a bubbly guest too. (no pun intended)

Perhaps at my wedding (*ahem*) we'll set up a fog machine to enable yours truly to disappear while kidnapping the cake?

Because when it comes to cake, I'd much rather stuff my face, and mine mine alone in it. I don't care if sharing is caring, I call keep-offsies.

Hmph. We'll see.

I didn't get to eat on account of an unhappy tummy, but based on (somewhat) reliable sources, the buffet was quite nice. Didn't get to eat the cake either, so can't comment on the effect the bubbles had on the cake. LOL.

They looked happy. A BIG congratulations to them.

Oh yeah.
My date-cum-driver took the trouble to get all dressed up and looked great.

KUDOS!

My unhappy tummy is still unhappy, even though it's been days since the initial unhappiness.

Random thought:
Places I would travel to and the reasons to go there.

Japan
nonsense reasons: uh... school girl stuff, game console stuff. This one's pretty obvious, no?
not nonsense: food

The US
nonsense reasons: Walmart, Target, Staples, Sephora. Also obvious.
not nonsense: to see a certain special someone. Plus, to check out where he spent those missing years.

Beijing
nonsense reasons: to be alone
not nonsense: to be alone

On to the guinea pigs!

This little piggie is so grown up now.

Almost seven months old and a stinky teenager. But he acts like a baby and still demands to be picked up and hand fed from time to time.

On the other hand, this one is still as paranoid as the first day we took him home - and that was more than 3 years ago!

Always so worried that I would kidnap him and eat him up!

But then again, who could blame him? In some parts of the world, guinea pigs are a delicacy. In fact, I can't say that I haven't thought of gobbling him up myself...

*ahem*

Anyway,

I love that picture. They truly are brothers, aren't they? And like true brothers, they bicker and fight. Over toys. Over the water bottle. Over hay.

Come on now Truffle, sharing truly is caring... Koko needs to eat the hay too.

But at the end of the day,

just like true brothers, they are inseparable.

^___^

The Rock Solid Day

2010-02-16T22:59:00.005+08:00

At the risk of turning into a blog that keeps talking about the weather, what is up with the weather???

I am somewhat in the market for a new watch. Not immediately, but surely.

I do like square watches, I like how they look and how they feel, and there are a few designs that make me go "oooh...", especially those that look more like bracelets than they do watches...

but then at the same time there is also the allure of rather child-like and cheap looking brightly colored plastic.

Now imagine that I had the budget for just one watch (*GASP*) which should it be? - bearing in mind what a wonderfully warm, cheerful, non-world-destroying person you've always known me to be.

p/s: the metal watches are smiling while the plastic ones frown? hmm...

On Valentine's Day, my room was filled with beautiful red roses, I received expensive heart shaped chocolates and went on the most romantic of all candlelit dinners.

Ah.
It was perfect.

Perfect bullshit.

A bunch of us got into the car and made a road trip to the southern town of Ayer Keroh for some horseback riding, go-cart racing, and crocodile taunting.

Went into a haunted house. Took a ride on a monster train. Looked at houses. Even went to the zoo.

By a bunch of us I meant me, my dad and the blue one.

The highlight of the day was finding the world's largest rodents in Melaka Zoo. Seven of them, that's three Capybaras more than what we saw at Zoo Negara.

Flowers, chocolates and candles are overrated anyway.

Went to Lubuk Manggis at Pangsoon River. Sorry, no pictures due to the high level of obscenity and nudity.

It was great fun.

Now my boss truly envies me.

Great to be me.

Did I mention I got NINE days off?

Absolutely great to be me.

The Rock Solid Tooth

2010-02-11T12:44:00.002+08:00

So after three sessions at the dentist (still, the dentist, not THE Dentist) I have in my mouth a rock solid formation that somewhat looks like a... well, rock formation.

The plaster, which is supposed to act like a cast, comes off on Wednesday and will be replaced hopefully (and finally) with a proper crown.

And after the coronation of said teeth, the dentist will be three figures richer.

BLAH. I went to the wrong school indeed.

Finally got two out of the three brushes I had wanted for awhile.

The right most, which is supposed to be the powder brush, is excellent at stippling on makeup (powders, minerals, blush) Have yet to try it with liquids or BB creams.

The one in the middle is absurdly small to be called a blush brush, but works anyway so I'm not kicking myself in the ass for buying.

The left most, which is a paddle brush, I did not get since I already have one from Ecotools.

Will write more soon.

Heard on the radio some days ago:
Can money buy love?

I say YES. But only one kind of love. The love for money.

HA HA HA

Accomplished:
birthday cupcakes.

New challenge:
wedding cupcakes!

As of late it has been too often that I am poor and hungry.

I think I understand how Dr. Zoidberg always feels.

Kimchi ramen kills me.
But in a good, insanely awesome way.

My mom will be in town for awhile starting the 26th.

Being an indispensable employee, I have found, is killing me by way of Vitamin D deficiency.

On most days I don't even get to see the sun. But I guess that might actually be a good thing, what with this ridiculous heat wave and all. Hmmm.

Audit is a real bitch. I almost lost my mind working on the final report.

Good riddance.

I need a much larger thumbdrive for carrying my stuff. I can't very well be lugging my 1tb wherever I go now, can I?

Guess what day is Sunday?
HA HA HA

The Red Tooth

2010-01-31T12:08:00.000+08:00

How is it that I always fall for the adorable, tall, dark haired sweetheart who also happens to not exist???

I have recently introduced a product into my routine which will hopefully combat the dry flaky skin that is the result of air-conditioning and incompatible tap water - once and for all.

After ten days of twice daily use I have noticed a significant change in the overall softness and smoothness in my skin. No more itchiness and flakes. And no longer red after washing/rinsing my face. Oh so happy for now.

Product picture and complete review at the end of the month.

Squirrels climb into our kitchen at nights and steal our bread.

What has the world come to?

January has come to an end and I have yet to buy anything off of my January book list.

It shall be renamed February book list. Hopefully in the next 28 days I can find time to buy and read at least one new book.

Failing which it shall be renamed March book list. HA HA HA

A couple of months ago I chipped a tooth while eating and never gotten around to fixing it. It didn't hurt, so I went and forgot about it. Completely.

Fast forward months later, this horrible and debilitating pain starts setting in. At first it wasn't as unbearable, I could still eat and sleep at night. Because of the nature of my current job I couldn't just make a run for the nearest dentist and so I put up with the pain for at least a week.

Until now.

When I finally had time to consider looking for the GPS coordinates of a respectable dentist, I realized that I had already upped the dosage of pain meds so much that I risked both killing myself and getting fired (my job has an insane anti-drug policy) - although if I had really overdosed, losing my job is the last thing I should be worrying about.

On Wednesday I was turned down by two dentists because they were too busy to handle a walk in patient no matter how red and swollen the patient's eyes were from crying due to the pain.

On Thursday I found a third dentist who was kind enough to take me in.

Turns out the chip was far worse than I had ever imagine it to be. Because of the shape of the chip, some inner parts of the teeth was exposed and now I suffer from some nerve infections.

The nerve-

Well anyway, a thorough cleaning and a jab later, I skipped out of the office and straight to a soup joint for much needed nourishment.

Long story short, on Friday the pain became so unbearable that the only way of staying alive involved rinsing my mouth with clean water every couple of minutes. Now I couldn't possibly rinse and spit seeing as I plan to work in that office for many more months, so I used bottled water and swallowed after. Needless to say, I went through six bottles of water before I finally decided that what I was doing was borderline masochistic - I packed up and locked up the place.

Again I went to the dentist to get shot, er, jabbed. The doctor was very sympathetic, but good humored enough to laugh when I told him of my methods in dealing with the pain. Oh well, pain aside, I was well hydrated for once. I'm sure my kidneys thanked me.

Oh boy. At the risk of sounding like a real addict, I must admit that that shot was the best fix ten bucks could buy.

My problem is (aside from everything else previously mentioned) I don't have very strong teeth. This was not the first time I've chipped a tooth only previously the chip was so minute it was negligible. I think it's probably related to my seven long years of carbimazole dependency. *SIGH*

I NEED Thompson's Teeth.

Oh you know, the ONLY teeth strong enough to eat other teeth...?

The Red Phase

2010-01-17T20:03:00.004+08:00

Augh, what is wrong with Rapidshare?!

I know as someone downloading illegally for free I shouldn't have the right to complain about queuing and waiting etc. but... I NEED TO WATCH HOUSE AND CHUCK LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT BECAUSE RIGHT NOW MY LIFE, MY ENTIRE BEING, DEPENDS ON IT!

No, I'm not going to pay for a premium membership. What am I, nuts?

Watched Sherlock Holmes. Fans of the movie, sorry, I did not like it at all. Wanted to be fair, watched it twice.

Hated it even more on the second run.

But then again, I never have been much of a fan of the action genre... I still try to watch Clue every single day and STILL think it is one of the best movies of all time! HA HA HA

Have to live DS-less for who knows how long.

*sigh*

But there's always that game on Facebook that I'm so hooked to.
Hmmm

Maybe I shoulda borrowed a certain psp from a certain psper.

Wait, did I say psp? Oh good lord.

Wants Birkenstocks.

How much are they anyway?

The great thing about working in a school is that hardly anybody notices what you put on. Be it clothing (so long as you're wearing some, you're good to go), makeup, shoes, how you wear your hair, etc, nobody gives a.

In light of the coming CNY, the pigs get new fleece. In red.

You fell for that, didn't you? LOL. They only came in three colors. I already had green, so it was between red and black.

Why I will never make it in an LDR.

1. Providing and receiving emotional support is too difficult over a great distance, especially when time difference is involved

2. I have long conceded to the fact that I am naturally the jealous type HA HA HA

3. I'm someone who enjoys and places great importance in a SO's physical presence. I'm not clingy, and far from slutty, but I find hanging out often is a must

4. Can't afford it. The calls? The trips? Mailing care packages? Whoa.

5. I can hardly make close proximity relationships work...

Don't misunderstand me, there is nothing wrong with long distance relationships. Kudos if it works for you. I'm just not built for it, I guess.

Waitaminute. Why am I here writing this instead of - Okay, bye.

The New Phase

2010-01-12T10:43:00.006+08:00

A TEXT ONLY POST

Okay, seriously, there are days that are starting to make me wonder.

Am I really getting paid just to watch Futurama and play Lego on my DS???!

On the radio in the car this morning:
Are we Malaysians recycling enough? And why aren't we?

What nonsense is this? Isn't the answer blatantly obvious? We don't recycle because

1. we don't think that far ahead
2. it's just too much hassle to have to separate our trash
3. it's just too much hassle because the recycling center/bin isn't at our door step
4. we don't realize that almost everything is recyclable
5. most of us think that one person will never make a difference
6. OUR PARENTS NEVER RECYCLED WHY THE *&^%$#@! SHOULD WE?! THE FUTURE GENERATIONS CAN JUST *&^%$#@! OFF

Really, I think some people are not getting it. I was laughing my ass off. Isn't there an even more important question we should be asking:
How do you teach a population which generally prefers to litter to recycle?

Those who do not litter, and already ARE recycling, ignore this, GOOD FOR YOU! I'm talking about the rest of the human kind which refuses to aim for a rubbish/recycling bin.

*sigh*

Seriously, radio stations should just quit it with the morning talk shows. I turn on the radio to listen to some music while the traffic crawls. If I'd wanted to hear idiots shouting at one another I'd save my car battery and just roll down the car window.

Question:
David dies a death on a street in front of witnesses. He is doing what thousands of others do. People cheer during his demise. What killed him?

Answer:
Why weren't the others killed too? LOL

I have started playing a game on Facebook. I'm not going to say which one exactly, but uh... yeah, it's one that is actually very widely played. *sigh*

Question:
If a chicken says, "All Chickens are liars" is the chicken telling the truth?

Answer:
Chickens can't talk. They can only cross roads.

As time passes
For those held high
their end is nigh

The world's hardest riddle is a sham.

I turn polar bears white.
And I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
And girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid.
And normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown.
And make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

I was hoping to get to scratch my head (as is usual for me) Darnit.

Random questions. Because I haven't done this is a long, long time.

A movie you know all the words to:
CLUE!!!

Food that shouldn't exist:
Manwich

Something you can hear right now:
The air-conditioning blaring at 22 degrees

What you last touched:
This keyboard...?

What annoys you:
Idiots

Something you like about yourself:
That I'm annoyed by idiots

An animal you'd love to have as a pet:
That I don't already have? Okay. Capybaras

The last thing you do before bed:
Climb into it (the bed)?

A song you secretly love:
Pop. N'Sync. HA HA HA

Recent mistake made:
Turning on the radio in the mornings

How you see your future:
Being paid to watch Futurama and play Lego on my DS

What you're gonna do now:
Click [PUBLISH POST]

The New Year

2010-01-09T08:45:00.000+08:00

New year, new thoughts. What is this blog really going to be about?

Early on I have decided not to write about: currents events and politics, school related things, work related things... So far it has been about the mundane little things in an average person's everyday life.

Shall we keep it that way?

Murphy's Law. When you have it you won't need it, and when you absolutely need it you won't have it. Pretty much sums up my life, if you think about it.

Sitting in front of a computer in an air-conditioned room all day long makes me mighty, mighty hungry.

Picked up at a RM5 store. Not bad eh?

Oh yeah.
So my cracked right hinge problem is still a problem, albeit slightly less of a problem now.

I have replaced the old crystal protector (the one that was broken) so at least the screen won't flop backwards anymore, hence reducing the strain on the cables inside. I bought a light gun for somebody as a present, and included the case along with the order because I thought it might come in handy and hey, it was only a dollar - I win, right?

It's a temporary measure while I wait for my replacement parts to arrive from HK. Hopefully they shipped some courage along with those parts because armed with a tri-wing screwdriver and some youtube videos, I'm gonna have to do the repairs by myself!

I guess this is a great folly of the clam shell design. But it's still the best way to protect a touch screen right?

And psp advocators, before you start, psp doesn't have a touch screen okay? And youse guys don't gots Phoenix Wright!

You know you're in trouble when you start quoting Futurama in your everyday life.

...right?

OH!
Truffle Guinea Pig has grown so much; five months old and about 650 grams now.
WOOOOOOoooaaaaAAAAAAAAAH~!

TEN things I eat on an everyday basis:

1. Vitamins. I've switched from drugs. HA HA HA
2. Soggy Nestle Honey Gold Flakes cereal
3. A salad. Babies' leftovers...?
4. Peach flavored gum, although I technically do not 'eat' it
5. Raisins, because I still believe they'll make me smarter
6. A slice of cheese
7. Plum powder with Fuji apple
8. One Fuji apple with plum powder. HA HA HA
9. M&M's anything
10. BISKUT HARIMAU

To Jade:

^____^
Have a good one!

The Wright Year

2010-01-02T21:25:00.008+08:00

010110

So how was everybody's binary day?

LOL.
I'm gonna be so excited about dates this year.

Binary dates.
100110?
101010?

Non binary dates.
02012010?
01022010?
20102010?

HA HA HA

Oh oh!
No recaps and I have given up on new years resolutions. From now on it's all about expectations instead!

10 things to expect in year 10!

1. A caramel colored guinea pig baby.
2. Blisters on feet from walking so much.
3. More makeup...
4. ...and better hair.
5. New acquaintances...?
6. A full sketchbook.
7. An Avon gold card.
8. Married. To Phoenix!
9. Um. More money.
10. More sailor uniforms.

Speaking of sailor uniforms...

Oh I'm just too cute in this! HA HA HA

Whenever I fly to Beijing, it's usually by Air China. Now I have their loyalty card.

PhoenixMiles.

Phoenix Wright!
Miles Edgeworth!!

LIKEOMGLOL!!!

Sometimes I wonder if peanut butter M&Ms are seasonal. I don't see them most of the year, and then around Xmas and NY, they're everywhere!

Maybe I should stock up?

*sigh*
So in love with these MACs but cannot afford them.

Instead will buy these elfs.

It takes me two minutes to make my bed. Five to tidy up the pig pen. Ten minutes in the shower, three attacking my teeth and five getting dressed. And I can put on my makeup in five.

I'm timing all the things I do in the morning. LOL.

How long should I have breakfast...?

The Wright Hero

2009-12-28T23:45:00.005+08:00

Say what you want, Apollo's too much of a kid.

Wright's the man.

Joy was finally using a buy one free one (limited to five plates) Sushi King coupon. Now I have a reaction from eating too much jellyfish. Ugh.

I baked chocolate chip cupcakes today. 12 of them, and not a baker's dozen. Sis ate just one. I ate one and one and then another one. Later I hid four, just in case. The rest just magically disappeared.

I have an annoying cousin who bugs me from time to time with annoyingly mundane requests.

Today he asked me a word's equivalent in English. Of course I knew the answer, but I ignored him anyway because I do not think I resemble a dictionary.

Then again, I doubt he even knows what a dictionary looks like since he once boldly claimed to me and other witnesses that he has none. Not even one.

I can't get my guinea pigs to agree to stink less.
*sigh*

Most of the girls I went to highschool with are or are about to be married. Some already have kids. A few have more than two.

How old am I again...?

...and what year is this?

Lost my marbles. Entirely.

The last time I was this is love with somebody who was existentially handicapped, I ended up sketching pictures of our imaginary wedding. I wonder how far this one will go?

What is a friend really?

Somebody you regularly poke on facebook? Talk to on msn? Sms once in a blue moon to check up on?

I have no idea, really. Not anymore.

All this while I've been using BB creams on and off - I do love them, but in my opinion they are not the easiest to wear and require a more meticulous removal at the end of the day. Most of the time the pressed minerals prevail.

Realizing that my purchase date was in Autumn 2008, in the past couple of months I've been trying to use up my little black tube. Easier said than done, because one application only requires about a pea sized amount of product, and you can just imagine how many peas are in a half a tube of 50ml.

Unlike the findings of some BB-creamers, no, I do not think BB creams are miracle elixirs. I am not whiter nor any more wrinkle free than I was before I started using, and given the right (or should I say wrong?) conditions, I am not any more blemish free. I still have my dark circles and I'm still having a tough time dealing with blackheads.

But all that aside, my cheeks ARE incredibly super duper soft. So soft that I cannot stop pinching them. And no, I'm not dreaming it up. Because if I were, I'd be awake by now. Pinching sandpaper cheeks.

I don't Twitter. In fact, call me slow, but I only recently found out what Twitter is. This blog kind of looks like Twitter. And just like if I were to have a Twitter account, nobody really reads my random nothings.

HA HA HA

Turns out my mom's upstairs neighbors might actually be from Romania. Could they be vampires too? MLIT.

HA HA HA

I have decided to rename Mr Red.
He is from now onwards to be addressed as Mr Redrum.

Because his 3G bills are killing me.

The Missing Hero

2009-12-23T20:03:00.013+08:00

Most of us hate our passport pictures so much, it's no surprise that some of us refer to it as our mugshots. I know I do. HA HA

It's never flattering. Nobody ever gets it right. And I believe the person behind the camera derives some sick pleasure in snapping our pictures when we're least perfect; with one eye smaller than the other, a few stray locks of hair hanging awkwardly onto our face, shirt lopsided... etc.

Even when things go our way, they don't let us smile. What's wrong with smiling? Does it change our faces into something so unrecognizable, thus making the process of passing through airport security a impossibility?

It's no secret, I'm four eyed and have been blessed with crazy hair. Even if I don't smile, I'd still have a hard time passing through security because of all the possible combinations between putting on my thick framed glasses and contacts, and wearing my hair down and in a bun or ponytail.

I'd still have to recreate that perfectly sullen mugshot moment.

So why am I not allowed to recreate a happily smiling face?

*scratches head*

Anyway, I hate having my mugshots taken. But I do love taking pictures of myself (NO, I am NOT that narcissistic!)

Naturally I would love DIY photo booths. There's no one behind the camera, no one to tell you not to smile, and best of all, there's a huuuuuuge mirror you can use to check out exactly what you're going to look like in the picture... well, the reflection of what's going to be in the picture actually. But that aside,

a photo booth is a happy place.

A few months ago I discovered such a happy place at the blue atrium service center in Sunway Pyramid. Ah bliss. Magic magic photo booth. Oh what happiness thy bring into my life!

Today I went to my happy place because I was in need of new shots for... er... job purposes. I dressed nice. Made my way all the way to Sunway...

AND THE MACHINE WAS NOT THERE!

Panic. This cannot possibly be happening!!!

I asked the lady from the shop nearest to where the booth was supposed to be. What she related to me was a tale of utter horror and disgust. Something so shocking that will keep me up at nights thinking about the fate of the country (and so mankind).

Round about last month the machine went kaput. Why? Kids. Schoolkids. Schoolkids on term break, to be exact. Went into the machine and treated it like some kind of giant happy meal toy.

WHAT???!!!

We'll never know exactly what they did to the machine, but I think it suffices to say, THEY MURDERED IT.

These kids. They never think!

Now how am I supposed to take my Saint Nic Xmas Tribute shots???

And where the hell is Clark Kent/Superman supposed to get changed???!!!

Seriously, have I gotten too old all of a sudden?

I go to Genting on a day trip and avoided all the topsy-turvy rides (in fact I do the exact same thing at Cosmo's World...), I wear my hair in a bun most of the time, I no longer understand young'un lingo... I even get super headaches from watching 3D movies.

Okay, maybe not gotten old, but gotten lame. Super lame.

Why I would never have made it as a professional athlete:

1. I'd spend too much time in the locker rooms washing germs off of a sweaty me.
2. Wait, locker rooms? I'd never even set foot in one. It's definitely Germnation!
3. I'm no team player. Unless we're talking about Team World Destruction!!!
4. I'd be starving because I wouldn't be winning at anything because...
5. ...have I mentioned that I play no sports whatsoever? None. Nada. Well, except for air hockey, that is.

HA HA HA

*Wright alert! Long entry about Phoenix Wright and the Ace Attorneys. Skip it if you don't dig it!*

I'm done with the first three installments of Ace Attorney, now am into the fourth: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney.

Set SEVEN years after the last installment, the new Ace Attorney is called Apollo Justice. That's right, no more Mr. Phoenix (Nick) Wright.

What's a girl to do?

Even though Apollo is nice and all... and saying "...Justice will not leave until justice is served..." is, in a mildly corny way, kind of cool.. and let's face it, he's a much better dresser than Wright was... but Apollo's just... he's just... not Wright.

From the first time I heard Phoenix yell "Objection!" I knew there would never be another Ace Attorney in my heart. Oh that voice, oh that index finger pointing!

Too bad Capcom is a *&^%$#@!.

Sometime in the past, Phoenix Wright has been disrobed for producing in court, evidence of the fraudulent kind. He is now a bum. A loving father to his daughter Trucy, but bum nonetheless.

Unless we have flashbacks of old cases, we will never have Phoenix Wright starring in an Ace Attorney game, ever again. That ship has long sailed.

Besides, Nick himself has said to Apollo - in the very first episode of this fourth installment - that from now on, it's Apollo's story.

*wails*

Capcom is a *&^%$#@!.

Although it was never made clear in the game itself, I (along with many other fans) believe Phoenix to be in love with Maya.

Because?
1. Whenever anybody suggested it, he never out rightly denied it.
2. He would lose his composure when given preposterous news about her. Like when she was accused of murder. Or speculated to be dead.
3. He blacked out for a moment when told of Maya's kidnapping
4. He, despite his terrible fear of heights, ran across a burning rope bridge just to get to her
5. Follows her anywhere, even sat through ridiculous spiritual training courses with her

And she feels the same way about him too.

Proof?
1. She talks about him a lot when she goes back to her hometown
2. And never out rightly denied suggestions of such feelings
3. Every time something bad happens to her, he's the first person she calls out to
4. Thinking of him and drawing his picture kept her going when she was held captive
5. She misses him so whenever she's away...

so...

TAKE THAT!

And you ask,
why aren't they together in Ace Attorney 4?

Oh come on people,
relationships DO break down!

Last but not least,

MERRY XMAS!

Oh Santa, I'd like a new photo booth please?

The Missing Hiccups

2009-12-18T23:43:00.003+08:00

I am in pain because that someone I love is in pain.

GET WELL SOON!!!

Vanity: needs new mascara.

Black. Volume. Hmmm.

I just felt like doing this again.

The bag. The contents.

Why I could never have made it as a doctor:

1. I would start decorating my white lab coat with colorful buttons
2. Terribly afraid of germs
3. The sight and smell of blood and vomit makes me want to vomit. In fact the sound of vomit makes me want to vomit.
4. I would steal drugs from the hospital to satisfy my drug dependency
5. Would kill all of my patients as part of my plans to destroy mankind

HA HA HA

All that assuming I had survived medical school. HA HA HA

A guinea pig salad.

Four kinds of lettuce. Three kinds of capsicums. Carrots. Cucumbers. Twice a day. Every day. When was the last time you ate anything this healthy?

Is it wrong for me to have Xmas songs stuck in my head?
*SIGH*

So I'm nuts.

I have a cousin who is a tailor, and a couple of weeks ago I got her to agree to make me this. She didn't ask me too many questions about it, she probably just understood that I was nuts.

Anyway, it should be ready any time soon and I'm soooo excited.

So I'm nuts and now my cousin knows it. But it sure beats paying a couple of hundred bucks to get it online! Now if I did THAT, I would really be nuts!

I washed my makeup brushes today. All eleven of them.

For somebody who doesn't have any makeup brushes, I sure have a lot of makeup brushes.

Trust me, that last sentence makes sense.

The Small Hiccups

2009-12-15T20:35:00.004+08:00

I wish I had this many pigs.

Seriously.

Lived in the living room for awhile while my room was being fumigated.

Sleeping on the floor? While good for posture, not good for joints.

Having a widescreen at my foot? While highly entertaining, robbed me of my sleep due to Psycho and Psycho II.

My computer just celebrated its 2nd birthday.

For something that didn't even break the 2k budget, it held up well. Dropped it, stepped on it, kicked it. Traveled. Used as a heating pad for stomach cramps. Used as a toaster for pop tarts.

And still going strong!

Unfortunately its battery life is something we must all agree to laugh about. Slightly over one hour and thirty minutes. Can't even watch a movie in that time, can we?

Any ideas where I can buy service light indicator board ribbon connectors for an e28 bmw?

I have crap for internet connection right now. Trying to fix the junction box in my room so I can access from there and be happy again. Soon. Very soon.

I can no longer live without

~~makeup~~
steroid creams
phone
television
adorable clothes
stationery
nds
eBay
VISA
blog
internet
beloveds
~~candy~~
guinea pigs
green blanket

My sister is in a lot of ways a lot like my brother.

Which makes them perfect for each other.

Small, short, love for fast moving objects, sports and Transformers figurines, workaholics.

I am a nerd with a fetish for books, school uniforms and white sneakers.

She's quiet, doesn't wear makeup or dress up or read. She doesn't even wear fancy ear rings.

She checks benefits and properties when buying toiletries. I check ingredients.

She cooks radioactive food. (masak lemak cili api et al). I make soups and veges and colorful little cupcakes.

In a nutshell, my brother married the girl version of himself. What will we ever talk about?

Done with Justice For All.
Moved on to Trials And Tribulations.

I am in love.
Desperately.
Again, with somebody who does not exist.

Oh well, can't have everything can I?

The Small Eye

2009-12-02T14:18:00.004+08:00

I have finally completed the first installment of the Ace Attorney series!!!

My thoughts:

Trial side: I noticed very clear mistakes in the legal jargon used and court room protocols are often ignored/dismissed. I saw none of the workings of legal processes/procedures. Even the law itself is oversimplified. (come on, there are more than just 2 rules of evidence, okay?) Objections are never sustained or overruled - what is the judge for then? And ultimately, Nick's role in court is to get to the truth, all by revealing contradictions in witness testimonies. Oh my, that's too easy, isn't it?

But let's not kid ourselves, even though the game was written of lawyers, it was not written by lawyers or for lawyers, so let's just ignore all the inaccuracies. It's a great game. Addictive.

Investigation side: Very interesting, although I don't suppose defense attorneys go out and about to investigate like Nick does, in the real world. Leave no stone unturned. No hand print unexamined. You will need to talk to a lot of people, hence be warned - there will be a lot of words to read.

Characters: have interesting and funny names. some have interesting reactions to certain things said during interviews/questioning or cross examination

Storyline: Well written actually. Some of the cases do seem like probable real life cases, which makes it a little creepy at times. Some endings are sad.

Recommendation: If you're the first person shooter or fighting games type, sorry, skip this. However, if you're anything like me and like detective work and solving mysteries, give it a go.

Replay value: little to none. unless you have amnesia

Hearts: Nine ♥ out of ten

Next up:

JUSTICE FOR ALL

There is a spot on my head that is threatening to thin out.

Unwilling to give up and just chop off 5 years worth of hair, I have decided to go sulfate free and silicone free and see if it makes any difference.

Silicons are not necessarily bad for hair, but I have to go silicone free if I am to go sulfate free, because almost all silicons are non-water soluble and need detergents (eg; SLS, SLES) to remove. Avoiding both is easier said than done.

Almost all drugstore shampoos will contain SLS or SLES or any other member of the sulfate family. Almost all drugstore conditioners will contain silicons.

Sulfate free baby shampoo is too drying for me, btw. So that's a no-go too.

So I've been trying this out. The conditioner only method.

For washing, I'd need a no nonsense, no silicons/protein, basic conditioner that's slightly on the runny side. For that I have found the notoriously cheap Tesco Value Conditioner (yellow. RM2.50 for 350ml) to be perfect.

However, long hair also needs proper nourishment and for that, I have a no name salon brand soy bean protein conditioner. No silicons still.

Now removing silicons from the equation leads to a lot a frizz. I deal with plain extra virgin olive oil. It's a little greasy, but way better in the long run.

I have had some flaking issues. Itchy scalp issues. Hair fall issues. Tangles and knots issues.

The conditioner only method will solve the problem with the hair fall, tangles and knots. Selenium in my multivitamins will take care of the itchy flaky scalp.

I hope.

But so far so good. There's less hair in the shower trap/floor/carpet/random surfaces now. The only thing is, I need to wash every single day now. Because my hair already feels heavy on the second day.

I wish I could afford these Wen Cleansing Conditioners. It's a one step conditioner only wash. Very kind to the scalp, very nourishing on the hair, yet it's surprisingly cleansing enough that you won't need to wash every single day.

Used up a sample packet. Loved it. Choked to see its price.

Oh well. Maybe some day.

*SIGH*

I truly, truly envy truffle's shiny glossy coat.

The Beaded Eye

2009-11-30T00:32:00.004+08:00

Who can tell me what's wrong with this picture?

LOL.

The EM needs a new light seal.

Until the necessary kit arrives from the US, my beloved is benched.

Which is just as well, since right now I have no money for film.

Howling dogs outside.
How will I sleep?

And speaking of sleep,

Let sleeping pigs lie...

...but for me, it's time to wake up.

There's this RA position I'm in the running for. If things go well, I should be able to start around new years.

It's not glamorous and the pay is peanuts compared to what some are making... but I'm a nerd, and research is something I'm definitely into.

And I really have changed my mind about putting on the black and white.

So yay.

I can't deny it.

I love looking at makeup.
I love buying makeup.
I love putting on makeup.
I even love arranging my makeup in my makeup drawer.

But I love makeup that makes me look like I'm not wearing makeup.

HA HA HA HA.

I got Ron97 on my pants yesterday while filling up my dad's car. About half a liter's worth maybe. The sensor on the nozzle was broken and didn't stop the pump even though the tank was full.

Yuck.

I hate the smell of petrol.

And if saturated into clothing, the smell is bound to linger. Even if only psychological. I thought of just pulling them off and setting them on fire and good riddance! I already have a head start, the pants were already covered in the yucky stuff.

I abhor the smell of petrol!

My mom, on the other hand, loves it. Apparently it calmed her morning sickness when she was pregnant with me. I thought petrol fumes are hazardous to people, as well as unborn babies?

Does this then, explain why I'm so... weird?

Nobody answer that!!!

The Beaded Affair

2009-11-25T12:39:00.004+08:00

Perlar beads.

I plan to make my flashcards covers with them.

So do I get the

1. glow in the dark beads,
or
2. plain mixed beads,
or
3. glitter beads?

Friends, readers, strangers, anons, please vote for only ONE.

Peanut butter M&Ms.
So worth the RM17.90 price tag.

"Do we live in the physical world that we touch, or do we live in the world we create in our minds...?"

Okay, I'm too slow. Sorry.

Yes. I liked the movie.
No. I didn't download it for him.
Yes. I know it's an adaptation.
No. I'm not going to watch the original.
Yes. I get what she had to go through.
No. He doesn't exist in the real world.

*SIGH*

Which of our friends are our real friends?

This year I have been without two of my closest friends. One I got to say goodbye to. The other I did not.

I'm thankful for the little that I have left, because though little, they're good.

I'm just scared shitless by the alarming rate at which the pool is shrinking.

I can no longer imagine myself wear black and white for the rest of my life.

Do I start over, or do I just... deal with it?

It's been crazy with rain lately and the wooden doors in my house have expanded from the cold and damp.

Fused doors now create a need for battering rams.

It's no secret that Asians are so obsessed with whitening products.

Just pick any brand, chances are it'll have at least one whitening line. Olay in Asia in fact, has a total of FOUR whitening lines. Let's see if I can get them all here. Total White. White Radiance. White Radiance CelLucent™ Fairness. Natural White.

Seriously? Isn't THIS a form of discrimination too? I won't have any of it, and this is why I no longer shop for toiletries in the real world.

Setting aside the whole argument against white being radiant and beautiful, I'm just concerned about the lack of concern on UV damage.

What with our skyrocketing UV index, I think melanoma should always trump over superficial concerns... like employing a rosy-pink complexion to bag a guy.

We shouldn't be trying to change the color of our skin. We should be trying to protect it.

I'm Asian left and right, and from that I inherited a light tan.

I put on sunblock religiously, even when I'm going to be indoors all day (computer screens emit radiation too) And I'm forever on the hunt for THE PERFECT physical sunblock to use on my face. There are so many things my skin does not tolerate so hunting is actually a lot harder than it sounds.

Asians brands do not make it easier for me.

When will people realize that rubbing on a whitening cream with SPF24 will do no good in the long run...? Especially if the SPF is from a chemical sunscreen.

Come on people, slather on zinc oxides!

Domesticated guinea pigs are, well, as their name should tell you, domesticated - meaning they do not exist in the wild.

These adorable little creatins are mutations of wild guinea pigs (which look more like prairie dogs) The greatest evidence of their genetic engineering and enhancement can be seen in their multitude of fur color and texture.

Why oh why then, was this engineered??!?!?!?!

The skinny, naked guinea pig.

Lord forgive us all.

The Age-old Affair

2009-11-22T15:02:00.002+08:00

I used to think maybe you loved me
now I know that its true

and I don't want to spend all my life
just in waiting for you

now I don't want u back for the weekend
not back for a day , no no no

I said baby I just want you back
and I want you to stay

It's so obvious I'm so in love with my guinea pigs.

Stinky, noisy, burns a hole in my pocketbook, bites chunks of flesh off of me.
And SO absolutely adorable.
What's not to love?

Is this not absolutely psychedelicious?

One more name for my J list.
Jesse Bradford.

How many of you guys actually have the iPhone?

Is it really all that great?

I'll admit, I HAVE been curious about it, but...

Five reasons I don't own an iPhone:
1. the four digit price tag
2. I'm an iDiot when it comes to Apple gadgets
3. dude, I'm dependent on QWERTY
4. for some reason it feels fragile to me
5. almost everyone has/wants one

So I'll stick with Mr. Red.
The Raspberry.
The Strawberry.
And the Beriberi.

Sephora Asia? Not worth it.
I'll stick to buying my things off of eBay.

The curse of after shower hair:
My hair is in knots.
Where's a detangling comb when you need one??

Oh right, on eBay.

The Age-old Statements

2009-11-20T22:42:00.007+08:00

I got bit by one of my guinea pigs (...you know who you are!). He got me pretty good on my index finger and due to my rare ability to bleed profusely, took me all day to clot.

I really hope he doesn't start craving for human flesh and blood.

Now I'm having trouble holding a pen, a pencil, in fact any sort of writing instrument at all. Good thing I have nine other fingers to type with.

The pig wasn't rabid, so no, I didn't get rabies. In case anyone wonders.

I guess he just didn't get the memo about never biting the hand that feeds him.

Playlist on perpetual repeat:

01. Starlight - Muse
02. Just What I Need - Rufus King
03. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sisters
04. Suicide Note - Disagree
05. Transformers - Cheap Trick
06. Promise - Eve 6
07. Take Me Back - The Ataris

Dude, my room is so totally overrun with stuffed animals.

Help.

A bunch of women on youtube are constantly uploading videos of their skincare routine and most of them will have about 50 million steps to maintaining their skin.

I mean, seriously???

Who has that much time to spend rubbing things on the face...?

I'm a lazy ass and a tightwad. And I got too sick of clutter. This is all I use now.

After all, there is only so much the skin take take, right?

There's a new DSi out. A new PSP out. A new PS3 out.

Console industry really milking it, don't you think?

Us poor geeks...

Pretty embarrassing, I bought a new copy of the Constitution (2009 edition) - this time in the national language instead of in English.

And I'm having trouble understanding it.

This is what happens after four years of reading law in English.

Dude, my mom is so going to kill me.

I still...

...get excited over Green Day
...am in love with James Bond
...live in the same bedroom
...would pick animals over people
...walk around while I brush my teeth
...weigh the same and is just as tall
...don't have a paying job
...am unmarried and without kids
...play nintendo every chance I get
...wear the same swatch watch

Not much has changed in the last ten years.

OMG what if they decide to hold a ten year high school reunion???

PASS!

In the market for a new watch. This one to be exact:

This one I'm wearing, from eleven years ago, is falling apart.

All my other watches live in their boxes and will never see daylight again (collectors edition. Hahaha)

Brain tumor from:
1. Dawn of Sorrow
2. Futurama/Monk/OC/Chuck Marathon
3. Trying to read the Constitution

Clearing out my wardrobe - easier than I thought.

I hated my track pad with passion, and now my mouse hates me.
Oh wow

Karma. Is. A. Biatch

The Long Statements

2009-11-17T21:02:00.007+08:00

I cured my cold within less than 72 hours with good old fashioned vegetarian chicken soup and about 12000mg of vitamin C.

No no, before you say anything, I'm not a hypocrite, I didn't use any of that tofu stuff. I used actual chicken in the chicken soup.

I just pretended that chicken grew on trees.

Don't you just love my newly re-made notebook?

Cover is from the gigantic notebook I used when I was an overzealous first year law student. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

Chopped up to size, punched out all the necessary holes for binding - freehand with a cutter, removed the plain boring cover and metal ring from one notebook, replaced with new cover and plastic spiral ring.

Yes, I love pimping my things.

I heard on the news (on the radio) that the great Barrier Reef will not survive the next decade unless Australia cuts down on its carbon emission by at least 25%.

So what they're saying is... there's no hope for the reefs?

I think I should quickly visit Australia.

Uuuh... facebook?
we're a little late for that, don't you think?

*SIGH*

Everyday is filled with learning experiences, I tell you.

Today I learned (also from the radio) that the word unfriend does exist, and it means to remove a person from a social networking friend list.

All this while I thought all I was doing was weeding. Turns out I'm an avid unfriender.

There is no future in the present... is there?

Hay is NOT just for horses!

In order of preference: timothy, oat, alfalfa.
Dislikes: brome.
Still to try: orchard grass, botanical mixes.

Dawn of Sorrow.

Portrait of Ruin.
Order of Ecclesia.

Castlevania for NDS? Absolutely ruining my future.

Consumer price of petrol to go up again because of the new policies regarding governmental subsidies? Friends, let's all start skating and riding our bikes again!

Oh wait, I suck at both.

Damn.

The Long Questions

2009-11-15T14:25:00.005+08:00

First time writing online:
Pathetic little page on expresspage.com. Promised to pay those who visited the site and pressed refresh a couple of hundred times to raise the counter. Never paid. But then again, the counter never went higher than 000000000000000009.

First time in love:
Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Kevin Costner in No Way Out a close second.

First pet:
Brought home a stray cat at 10. Animals prior to that were either brought home by my parents or simply appeared out of thin air, hence they do not count.

First time cooking:
Made rice and fried egg. Rice was a little too dry, egg was a little too fried. Ate with two kinds of soy sauce. 8 years old, all alone at home, abandoned.

First time in rollerskates/blades:
At my cousin's house. Barbie skates and blades I believe. Was terrible at it. Probably still terrible now, but gave it up a long time ago, so no way to confirm this.

First time sending a threatening letter:
er... should I be disclosing this here? LOL.

Saw this at Mercato's yesterday.

I wonder if ALL the Allenses are in there?

Oi Fred,
manakau???

Knowing me, always unhappy with the way things are and always finding fault with the way things are made, I decided to personalize my Ikea makeup tray.

Sure, the original plastic looked nicer and I could always see all of the makeup items stored in there... but seeing as how (unlike some women) I do not own 12 lipsticks and 15 eyeliners most of the holes remained empty most of the times.

And I'd have to hear the larger items gossip about how cruel I am for ignoring them and their needs just because they're chubbier.

Now I'm happy, my chubby items are happy. Thank you for the circle cutter.

Headless bodies.

We thought it would be the sure-firest way for us to find our place in this headless society we live in.

48 hours ago my dad passed on his cold to me.
And today I got caught in monstrous rain. Twice.

I guess that would explain these pretty stars I see right now...

The Strange Questions

2009-11-12T21:01:00.004+08:00

First question,
Can I really be this impressionable?

A few months ago I had to stop playing Ace Attorney because I found myself pointing, objecting and pounding my fists to assert a point.

And then I had to give up on Castlevania because I soon found myself trying to cast spells on people that I hated to kill them off and seal their souls.

I moved on to the Lego series, but had to stop with those too because I kept hearing clicking sounds no matter what I do or where I go.

...boy am I glad I no longer play Unreal Tournament...

but I do still play Duke Nukem 3D *gasp*

Second question... ipod levi's...?

Say whaaaaaat...?

I find myself especially immobile at nights.
How do I go out, assuming that I WANT to go out?

I guess hitching a ride is always a possibility,
it's not like I don't know anyone around here...
but then I'll be leaving behind a 60 year old man. All by himself. Alone.

And then I'll be wondering about him all night long.
And won't be able to enjoy what it was that made me want to go out in the first place.

The 60 year old man is my dad, in case anyone's wondering.

So I guess the third question is:
I wonder what's the opposite of a babysitter?

Why do they love this turtle so much...?

Okay so my wish list got out of control.
No surprise there actually.

If I was rich beyond my wildest dreams, would I still have a wish list?

Still remember these lines?

For some of us, primary school was a million lifetimes ago.
We learnt to count, to properly read and write, some of us started to draw a little better, to interact with fellow students (yeah, right...)

I hated going to school. And I was really bad at coming up with excuses to skip school. I even hated recess, that's how much I hated school.

But I did love learning to write cursive. And how I loved those blue and red lines. And then there was that other kind where the bottom half of the page is printed with lines and the top part empty for students to draw on... I loved those too.

The sixth question is: Do you think time travel is possible?

Because by God these notebooks are getting harder and harder to find!

OMG I THINK I'M HOARDING AGAIN.

But... is it really a bad thing...?

The Strange Obsession

2009-11-07T10:00:00.005+08:00

As promised, an update.

The World's Largest Rodent now lives in my bedroom!!!

♥♥♥

And Phoenix Wright is awesome indeed.

Of all the crushes I've had on non-existing characters (believe me, I've come up with quite an impressive list after all these years) this has got to be the biggest.

He's a defense attorney, always wears a suit, has awesome hair.

Ooooh~ and the way he objects... ♥

I give you: Nikon EM 1979 with the legendary 50mm 1.8 lens!

Sure, in this day of 20mp dslrs why would anybody bother with a camera than runs on film?

In fact,

film? What's... film?

LOL.
Call me a hopeless romantic, or just call me hopeless. I've never considered buying digital cameras because I'm quite old fashioned and in most cases I don't know what button does what on a digital camera.

When it comes to cameras, I'm not made to live in the digital world.

Besides I ~~like~~ live on drama. I love feeling the weight of the camera on the shoulders. The satisfaction of seeing the shutter close. The waiting in nervous anticipation while the film gets processed.

The joy of a shot well captured.
The disappointment felt in a ruined shot.

...but really, there is no such thing as a ruined shot when you're holding in your hands the Nikon EM 1979 with the legendary 50mm 1.8 lens. Really!

♥

Been helping out with my cousin's wedding. A lot of work needs to be done. The buying, the eggs, the wrapping... etc. I feel like I'm not doing enough.

I remember my own brother's wedding. I barely slept at nights. And that was with the help of so many family members and friends too.

The celebrated couple on the other hand, always slept like babies.
*sigh*

Us people are masochists indeed.

I'm trying very hard to fatten up guinea pig Koko. Not because he'll have more meat then... but because his size to weight ratio is incorrect at the moment. He's too skinny to be a pig. And too picky.

Guinea pig truffle on the other hand is a guinea pig lover's dream come true. He happily eats everything fed to him, including his vitamins, and is a healthy 480grams.

Out of curiosity, am I the only person left in this town/world/universe still looking for accessories for a Playsation One? (psone)

...and strange love.

Strange love is strange indeed because it involves not actual love, but stalking.

I saw a keychain with his name on it and got excited. So excited that I almost bought it. Had the fear of getting caught with evidence of a strange love not struck me, I would have spent the RM7.90 on it.

And had the realization that the entire household uses my computer when I'm out not hit me, my screen would've already been plastered by evidence of this strange love.

*SIGH*

Dear Mr Strange Love,
you appeared in my dream last night.

Tis so confusing.

We know nothing of each other. Except for the fact that we stalk one another.

But stalking and watching from afar, always wondering and skulking and waiting... is this not pure torment?

Us people are masochists indeed.

The Recent Obsession

2009-11-03T21:41:00.003+08:00

I'm supposed to write about a few 'important' things, but right now I'm too distracted to do so. I'm really sorry, but...

OMG THEY'RE JUST TOO CUTE!!!

I CAN'T LOOK AWAY!!!

AAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And is this how my life will end;

lying on the floor by the cage staring at the two pigs...?

*SIGH*

Coming soon:
1. new love: KAPIBARA-san
2. even newer love: Nikon EM 1979
3. rekindled love: Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney
4. strange love: ...too strange for sneak previews.

The Recent Departure

2009-10-31T22:57:00.003+08:00

Look!

I've updated!!!

And HOLY CRAP THIS PLACE LOOKS DIFFERENT!

If anyone wonders, I'm doing good.

My trip went well. Had fun. Lots and lots of fun.

I'll upload more pictures once I have the time. And the patience.

Blogger has not been kind to me as of late.

Am back in KL now, but can't really say for how long.

I do need to get a job though, for more reasons now.

My awesome trip left me awesomely flat broke.

Well... the trip... and eBay. *sigh*

I am much obsessed now.
Nikon EM 1979.
Ace Attorney.

...and a certain Japanese hero from another planet.

Will write more soon.
Once I have the time. And patience.

Promise.

The Unplanned Departure

2009-09-17T20:18:00.007+08:00

Oh, I'm leaving for Beijing again soon. Real soon.

Got my ticket. My last minute visa application gets done Wednesday.

I've almost started packing.

Almost.

I'm working on my list.

Actually I made two lists, one in writing, and the other in cute little drawings. I'm psychotic that way.

I planned on traveling light this time, but my baggage allowance is between 20-25kg. I don't want to bring too many things that I'll have to bring back with me, but at the same time dread traveling underweight.

Food I guess?

*shrugs*

I'm also heading to Shanghai, and the beautiful Su-Hang (short for Suzhou and Hangzhou)

Google it up.

Most beautiful scenery in all China. Or Asia. Whatever.

Watched Becoming A King again a couple of weeks ago. Started to ponder.

What's it like for him to live in a palace all his life?

What is his personal life like? How does he have his meals? Will somebody taste all his food for poisons before it gets to him? What if he wants to order take-outs? Can he keep pets? Will his pets have to wear ridiculous outfits too? How big is his allowance? Does he do his own shopping? Will his internet connection be faster than mine?

My favorite faded after a few washes. Not entirely unexpected for a canvas wallet, but heartbreaking nonetheless.

Unwilling to be beaten by a washing machine and the people at Roxy, I decided to fix it myself. Sort of a revival if you will.

Sharpies. Steady hands.

And patience.

IT'S ALIVE!!! (again)

Finally I have a picture of myself that I like.

Figures. Can't even tell that it's me in the picture.

*sigh*

Btw, I tried that jacket on. Fell in love with it. Hesitated in making the purchase. Decided that I didn't need a new jacket. Walked away.

Been kicking myself in the ass since then.

It's around the corner.

Usually we play it cool and pretend like nothing's going on. This year we've decided to go all jakun. My dad and I lined out house with these.

My mom flew in today at noon.

Ah, one big happy family again.

...well, if you count five as big, that is.

This year's card is made up of a recycled card from previous year(s) plus a little extra.

To all celebrating,

I'll update once more, but then I'm leaving.

My flight's on the 25th.

The Unplanned Fivers

2009-09-12T00:49:00.015+08:00

All things random, odd and ends, etc.

Because I have nothing specific to write about but need to write anyway because Fred's life as we all know it will come to a screeching halt if I don't update this blog.

It's very inspiring whenever human life hangs on the balance.

I have managed to download 400gb of movies, anime and tv series.

I used to wonder what kind of person would need a 1tb hard drive.

Now I know.

If I bought one now and transferred everything I have into it, it'd already be almost half full.

And soon after I'd be due for another upgrade.

Rapidsharing at near 200kbps is a gift. And a curse.

Ah, gone are the days of 56k dial up and 8gb drives.....

Speaking of curses,

Polyvore.com is pure evil.

For once in my life, I will stroll into a store, pick something up and pay the recommended retail price.

That I have decided on.

What I have NOT decided on is the something. I'm not sure what I'll be buying.

Though I'm happy accumulating more stars on eBay, let's try buying things IRL again, shall we?

Seems like a lot of fun when other people do it...

If time travel was made possible, would you travel through time?

I personally feel that the whole romance of time traveling started through the wishful thinking of people with too many regrets.

Or too big a fear of regrets.

But hey, we're all traveling through time anyway. We came from the past and we're constantly headed for the future.

We don't need machines.

The baby has doubled in size.

I worked hard. And now I'm proud of myself.

Let's see if he'll double again in the same amount of time.

I need more space.

To hide my shoujo manga collection.

I just realized that ever since the state has been under the rule of the coalition government, this household has never EVER had to pay for water.

Like, how awesome is that?

We always fall within the first 20m³, no matter what.

Four people live here permenantly.

The planet loves us.

I haven't slept much.

Good God I used to sleep a whole lot more when I was in school, how is that possible???

For the sake of getting more sleep, I might need to enroll pronto.

Speaking of school, no, I'm not in a hurry to leave.

Turns out schools don't want me no matter how flashy my application is because they believe relevant working experience, or the lack thereof, to be... well, relevant.

Especially for someone who is applying for a research degree.

LikeOMGthey'retellingmetogetajob!!!

And it has to be relevant too.

Damnit.

I was just about to apply for that stock assistant position at Watsons.

Hard to bake when you can't taste.

Hard to taste when you're not supposed to be eating.

Baking on hiatus.

*SIGH*

Lego Star Wars,

Lego Indiana Jones,

Lego Batman.

What do they all have in common?

Me.

Curled up in my bed with my machine.

And I still dare wonder why my social life is nonexistent?

Guess how long my hair is now?

What would you do if your 15 year old cat keeps coughing up hairballs at strategic locations throughout the house?

a) staple her shut. "I'll be damned if I hafta keep cleaning up after ya!"

b) reassure her that she's still loved by going "there, there, that's alright..." and hum showtunes while cleaning up

c) pick through and salvage recognizable items. Like that pretty button. Or that 1-up keychain

d) all of the above

e) none of the above

New A-Team?

Yuck.

Seriously, stop remaking old tv shows. You're ruining it for true and die-hard fans all over the world.

Listen up: If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Is a medicine cabinet still a medicine cabinet if it has no medicine in it?

Or is it just a cabinet then?

I'm glad I have a rear end.

The bottom line is, without my full bottom, my bottoms will not stay on me.

Five famous Freds.

Flintstone. Astaire. Savage. Durst. Rogers.

Guess who didn't make the list?

Goodnight Fred.
No hard feelings.

The Plastic Fivers

2009-08-22T19:13:00.003+08:00

Due to the constant nagging of the one who has no life outside of my blog, I have decided to update.

You are indeed a pain in the ass, but I forgive you, psycho.

Five things new

1. The passing of one and the birth of another.

On August the 1st, the beloved Dark one passed away from what looked like to be respiratory complications. He waited for me to be by his side before he passed. He was four years old.

On August the 7th we adopted a new baby. He is named truffle (note: that's singular, with no capitalization) for his tri-colored fur. He was seven days old.

I've never had a guinea pig baby before. Being a guinea pig mom is not as easy when you're not covered in fur. But he makes the trouble worth it with his unconditional loving eyes.

Wow I miss him so badly...

2. I am very much attracted to the LG env 2.

It makes me feel guilty for some reason. Like I'm cheating on Mr. Red

*SIGH* I am such a sucker for clam shelled devices...

No, Mr. Red. I love you still.

3. Making cupcakes = happiness

But this is not really anything new, is it?

4. New sunnies.

Next stop, bimboville.

Laugh. All you want. Go ahead.

No, I did not tan. The room was dark.

5. It goes groovy.

Anyone, any ideas why my computer would do this? Complete scan indicates no virus or threats in the system. Though it IS kind of pretty, I'd much rather it didn't happen again.

Ten days to write about

The scenario: a throat infection that has spread to the stomach and intestines. Fever. Toilet visits. Weird chemical taste in the mouth. Pain, oh excruciating pain. Lying limp on the carpet all day long, weak and pathetic and slowly dying on the inside from the thought of being unable to disinfect self.

OMG the agony.

After ten days and a full course of antibiotics that tasted like *&^%$#@! finally I am all better.

In said ten days I ate nothing but baby food. The kinds where you mix with water or milk to make a paste/slurry. The kinds where you have to make airplane sounds in order for baby to open up the hangar door to...

When I said I am all better, this is both true and misleading.

I no longer have the horrible infection. But.

I am no longer able to eat solid food.

Ever.

Okay, just kidding.

Maybe I would be able to after my entire gut has completely healed.

In the meantime... here comes the airplaaanneeee~

Fifteen minute dilemma

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he was only important for the amount of things he bought me, of course that's not true at all. But undeniable is that when he was around, buying random and ridiculous things was a little bit easier for me.

He was widely known to be evil and kedekut, but whenever I appeared to be so into something, he would normally and happily oblige.

Now, when I'm about to buy something, over and above the usual do I really need this and can I really afford it questions, I also ask

Would he have bought me this?

I love him very much, still. And always will.

He made me a better person.

Twenty pounds more

The five things that never leave my bag:

Mr. White, Mr. Black, Tarte Cheek Stain in Flush, Mr. Pink and Mr. Red.

The other things that my bag swallows:

1. Notebook, small notepad and organizer
2. Utility bag (pen, pencils, tape, knife, scissors, sharpie etc)
3. Toiletry bag (paper soap, hand cream, deodorant, solid perfume, disinfectant, eyedrops, 1-2-3)
4. Makeup bag (powder, lippie/gloss/balm, eyeliner, comb, blotters, hair clips and ties)
5. A dri-fit tee (because they weigh next to nothing and don't wrinkle)
6. Water bottle
7. Environmental friendly shopping bag
8. A book. Usually P&P
9. Drug box. Containing... drugs. No prize for guessing
10. Kleenex, hankie, wet tissues. Sometimes a small towel

Btw the cheek stain doesn't get a name because it's not a toy.

Good Lord, how heavy my bag must be. Good thing I'm an Amazonian.

Twenty five random things about me

Tagged ages ago on facebook by the beloved Kau.

1. I love making lists. Obviously.
2. I write in cursive
3. I recycle almost everything I can - partly to save the planet, partly for the $$$
4. I hate cabbages. All kinds of cabbages.
5. I can listen to one song over and over again for an entire year.
6. I have an OCD that runs in this cycle: obsess, acquire, obsess, discard. Repeat.
7. I suck at thumb wrestling because I have short stubby fingers. Therefore I always cheat
8. I fell off a ledge at a parking lot when I was six and have been terrified of heights since
9. I read teen romance novels and then try to deny that I do
10. I love looking at what other people have in their bags
11. I bake somewhat better than I cook
12. I love dressing up in (trendy) school uniforms
13. I don't have a particular favorite color
14. I went to an all-girls school and remained boyfriendless until I was in college
15. I am terrified of trucks carrying gas cylinders
16. I think in English. I don't know why
17. I prefer the 8x10.5 letter size to the larger 8.5x11
18. I have no self-control when it comes to: health & beauty products, school supplies, shiny plastic toys
19. I love rats more than I love cats
20. I sleep with four pillows, a crocodile, a hippopotamus, a bear and two blankets. On a single bed
21. I am a blue-stared eBayer of both the buying and selling kind
22. I only drink Dr Pepper now. No other sodas will do. Ah, monogamy
23. I no longer wear a watch
24. I love Japanese food and would love to eat only it for the rest of my life. Seriously
25. I want to be three inches shorter so I can wear three inch heels

26. I managed to start all sentences with I.

and last but not least

Thirty Opportunities For Love

We have made it to that time of the year again.

The ninth month.

Ramadhan Mubarak.
God Bless.

(...And Every Other Dream)

2009-07-29T23:32:00.006+08:00

Alright, the title of this entry just ruined my system, I realize that.

*SIGH*

That's why I placed it and the previous entry in brackets. So it wouldn't count. Yes, I'm cheating. Yes. it's sad.

No, I don't care.

The random creation One.

I love Lego so much.

When I discovered the Lego pen series, OMG, just imagine the empty pockets that ensued. Lego. Stationery. Match made in heaven.

And then I saw Lego brick keychains.

This time I had a little self-control. Since I have no job right now, I couldn't possibly afford the RM19.90 price tag. Being poor and pathetic teaches one to prioritize when it comes to wants and needs.

As much as I had wanted one more piece of plastic attached to my keys, I needed to keep the money in my pockets. Who knows, something important might come up. Like needing to eat.

So I went home, resolved to challenge Brickboys Toys... and with the help of an eager apprentice I dug up my old blue box of bricks. Lo and behold, this was born.

Maybe I should start a business?

The random creation Two.

Since discovering the world's largest rodent to be the noble capybara, I've been completely obsessed with it.

I am now friends with the world famous world's largest rodent Caplin Rous. We are on each other's facebooks and have been sending emails back and forth. I sent pictures of the capybaras in Zoo Negara and he loved them so much that he will be featuring them on his blog soon.

Yes, this is crazy.

I've been wanting a Kapibara san plush since forever. (forever being about three weeks ago when I went to the zoo and saw capybaras for the first time) Kapibara san is not cheap. And I'm not prepared to sew one myself, if that's what you were about to suggest.

Googling up images like this just keeps fueling my rage. I think I should be deemed a masochist for my love of self-torture. Oh what to do?

Steal the designs for an origami Kapibara san.

And give birth to this.

Of course, Capybaras aren't white in color. And they sure as hell don't have those blue lines on them.

The random creation Three.

By the Betty Crocker in me.

Cupcakes that have too much icing on them

Brownies that kill diabetics

And curious looking sugar cookies

Nope, not made with instant mixes, but with lots and lots of TLC.

And sugar, of course.

The random creation Four.

Taught myself to draw buildings.

Nothing exciting really.

Except for the fact that I've always hated drawing buildings.

The random creation Five.

Okay, clearly not a creation.

Two boxes of Dr Pepper.

Enough cough syrup goodness to keep me settled for 24 days.

But sadly not enough for me to win the Camaro.

In Other News

Well will you look at that...

LOL

(To The Plastic Wishes...)

2009-07-10T21:29:00.014+08:00

A rubber ducky.

That's what I need.

A giant rubber ducky.

I'll name it Nic. Or Nicky. Or Nico.

And then everything will fall into place

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I am relieved to have been left alone.

Well, I'm not alone, obviously. The very few who HAVE NOT left me, I'm grateful to have them.

The non-caring well wishers are the ones I'm relieved to weed out. Just because it satisfies your guilt does not place your "hope you feel better soon" at the top of my list.

I have no idea what my OTT yelling and your abandoning me has done on your conscious though, but hope you feel better soon.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I've been obsessed with Lego Indiana Jones. And Lego Star Wars. And Lego Batman.

Why does Lego remind me so much of Nic?

The man never had Lego his entire life.

Is it the Lego man's shininess and plastickyness? Is it the Lego man's ability to detach and reattach himself to any Lego surface with ease? Is it the Lego man's rigid joints (think: robot)?

Hmm.

So maybe I'm not really obsessed with Lego Indiana Jones. Or Lego Star Wars. Or Lego Batman.

I'm just obsessed with Lego Nic.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I have this list of movies I'm supposed to download.
I've downloaded most of them.

What do I download when there's nothing left for me to download?

I shudder at the thought.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I have just finished watching The Day The Earth Stood Still.

I think I'm a little slow. But nevermind that now.

I am not persuaded by it. I honestly do not believe that in the face of such crisis, the human race will change enough to bring about the kind of difference needed in order to stop the planet from self-destructing.

If I were Mr Alien in a suit, I woulda just let the little bugs continue indulging in the all you can eat buffet.

Ha ha.

But seriously, I've resorted to washing my hair only twice in one week, and repeating my clothes as many times as possible before letting the washing machine at them.

Right now I'm in the middle of figuring out how many days I can get away with wearing the same things before people start to notice and/or kick me out of places.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I am in love with capybaras.

Go google it.

Damn, the largest rodents on the face of the planet.

And there I was, all this while thinking that THEY held that title... *sigh*

Sorry boys.

Not even close.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

Have not eaten instant noodles in ages now.

The last time?

I believe it was one winter day where I found myself starving half to death by the road side in Beijing city.

Ah, good times.

So today, I made two bowls (another for an equally starving father) of instant curry noodles.

Now, that in itself shouldn't normally make headlines, but what with the frustrating dramas we are forced to read of and live in, simple things like these should entertain and distract.

I find out today that things in my house have the tendency to meet their deaths through liquification.

Liquification. Firefox just underlined that for me in red. Is that not a word then?

Things that turned into liquid by virtue of spending three lifetimes in the fridge: leafy veges, a tomato, a green capsicum (now greener than ever) and one last thing which I gave up trying to identify its previous form.

I'm not usually slow in cleaning the fridge, but I've had a hundred things to do and a million things on my mind lately - the fridge stopped being a priority.

So I made my noodles with the sole surviving member of our happy vegetable garden, the family of shitake mushrooms.

If Nic was around, he wouldn't have touched my noodles with a ten foot pole. But he would've considered the capybaras BBQed.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

Oh yeah, two pots of cactus turned to jelly too.
Apparently from over-watering.

I'm strict when it comes to cacti. They drink once a week.

Somebody's been feeding them behind my back!

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I need Nicoholic Anonymous.

But two problems.

The first is not as big as the second.
Who's going to be in it? He, though had the appearance of being well liked, inspired hatred in quite a lot of people outside his small circle of close friends.

Wouldn't you hate a dude who dresses nice, makes more than enough money, has a house, a family that adores him, and a fiance who was crazy enough to name everything she loves after him because she wants to be able to say his name as often as possible...?

Anyway, the second,
I would kill any living person who are as obsessed about him as I FULL STOP

So Nicoholic Anonymous would consist of, surprise surprise, ME.

We would gather on every 5th and break down and cry.
So far none of us have skipped the meets.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I need this bag.

That's right, need. Need blows want out of the water for sure.

Even IF it costs almost a hundred dollars. In American money.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I slept and dreamt of Nic.

I took a nap and dreamt of Nic.

I passed out in the car while waiting for Avon to open (long story) and dreamt of Nic.

Well at least now I have a place where I can still see him...

and be with him.

But I can't keep on dreaming forever now, can I?

The Plastic Screen

2009-07-01T11:26:00.034+08:00

My Darling,

I miss you still.

What happened to us has turned me into a zombie

So many things in this world remind me of you

You picked me out of a crowd

...and you chose to love me. ME

How can I listen to the Rat Pack without breaking apart

Or make tea without thinking of our last shared cup?

Or go to the park and not die from memories of our picnics?

I will miss all the time we spent together...

...and I will never forget all the movies we watched

And that you flew three thousand miles just to be with me

Though we had many rough patches, I wanted you still

because for more times than you made me cry, you made me smile

You were a master giver, with natural talent at gift-giving

I could always say that Saint Nic was my patron saint.

You worked very hard and showed me the importance of doing so

And you were always the perfect gentleman

...you have helped me evolve into something better

...helped me find my heart

...you added color to my life

...and you were my dark knight, always watching over me.

We did not need gold to be happy

all we needed was each other...

I am still staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring

... and I will forever be waiting for your emails and messages

...and letters which the post will never bring.

I am still counting the days since you went away

There will be no more music in my life

...and no more dancing

...Or that happily ever after with you

You made your exit at the worst possible time...

right after I had decided not to live without you.

So now I will miss,
for the rest of eternity,

the love I felt in that kiss.

The Life-Altering Screen

2009-06-28T13:30:00.011+08:00

Though I usually only repeat Muse's Starlight over and over again sampai hilang siaran, I do have a music playlist. It looks like this:

Eric Carmen - Make Me Lose Control
Lonestar - Amazed
Chesney Hawkes - The One And Only
Billy Joel - For The Longest Time
Barry Manilow - All I Have To Do Is Dream
Whitesnake - Here I Go Again
Def Leppard - Two Steps Behind
REO Speedwagon - Keep On Loving You
Hootie & The Blowfish - I Will Wait
Bad Company - If You Needed Somebody
Human League - Together In Electric Dreams
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get
Bee Gees - You Win Again
Take That - Shine

Citarasa luarbiasa?

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

EGADS!!! I HAVE NO MONEY!!!

Well I'm never really rich, but...

Where DOES my money go to?

Parties & Hanging Out

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What?

How many parties do I go to in a year? Zero.

Two weeks ago I shook hands with the half a million people who showed up for my brother's wedding reception(s). I'm still traumatized from it until today.

Hovid Quick Clean disappoints me. I am still forced to think about that 0.01% of the germs it does not get to.

*SIGH*

Imagine me at a party?

I'll either be the first to try to leave, failing which I'd be hiding out in some dark corner playing golf solitaire on my mobile or reading a book...

or this:

"Hi, nice to meet you."
Squirt. Rub rub rub.

"Hi, How do you do."
Squirt. Rub rub rub.

"Hi."
Squirt. And rub rub rub.

Satu malam habis satu botol.

Waitaminute.

Realistically, it's two bottles a month. Even if not much, Hovid still costs money.

Okay, in part, that's where my money goes to.

Perfection:
1. Lying in bed with Mr Darcy while Billy Joel/Frank Sinatra plays on repeat in the background. Or
2. shooting aliens while shouting profanity on the ancient machine. Or
3. rapidsharing and rapidstealing movies/animes. Or
4. rearranging things on my bookshelf, in my drawers, on my desk...

I have successfully become a sociopath.
I no longer have to leave my room.

Well except for use of the necessities. Of course.

Health & Vitality

Going to the gym is the in-thing nowadays. And so I stay away from gyms.

My workout methods?

Cardiovascular workout- Getting lost and walking for three to six hours a day. Forgetting things and climbing up and down the stairs more times than necessary.

Flexibility of joints - Forgetting the keys and jumping the fence. Clicking the mouse over and over again while window shopping online. Practicing the ROCK ON sign

Okay, so I don't fork out money for gym memberships. Where does my money go to then?

1. Drugs? Nope, not anymore. I kicked the habit. Come on, be proud of me, damnit!

2. Vitamins. Okay I'm a vitamin-junkie.

Neurobion - fear of nerve issues
ACE + Selenium - self-esteem issues
Cod Liver Oil - fear of the common cold
Bilberry - fear of gradually losing eyesight
Calcium - fear of becoming an invertebrate
Extra Vitamin C - many other fears

Okay, so in part, that's what happens to my money - paranoia.

Love & Vanity

I've stopped buying makeup and hoarding skincare and bath and body products.

It's now a whole new kind of love, it's something much much worse.

Maintaining a healthy and beautiful relationship with this here machine requires a lot of effort and ka-ching.

The N.DSi is just like a woman - requires tender loving care, deserves to be spoiled, must be treated with the utmost of respect, responds to the right touch... and definitely loves looking pretty.

You do that, and in return it'll deliver hours and hours of unadulterated pleasure thus making you feel like the luckiest handler on earth. Together the two of you will instill envy in fellow handlers.

You can't help but grin like a idiot.

Even though your pockets are empty.

Okay, in part, that's why my money's left me.

Books & Manga

When one has to have every volume of every title, imagine the hole in one's pockets.

Don't even get me started on Penguin books.

To this I concede, a bulk of my money goes here.

FOOD?

But not all the necessary kinds I'm afraid.

It's the Dr Pepper and Cheetos kind.

Oh tolonglah.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

Oh how I miss hearing him tell me he's not made of money.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

I should try to paint this picture of a wholesome and happy youth, who worries not much and has friends by the dozen.

I'm freaking out my family with this antisocial bit and they have been inspired to drag me to McDonalds every other day out of the sheer belief that Happy Meals actually do make people happy.

Yup, that'll work.

The Life-Altering Turn

2009-06-21T18:20:00.021+08:00

I haven't written in ages, I think I've forgotten how to write.

I haven't really felt like writing in a long time, I still don't.

And even if I did feel like writing, what could I possibly write about?

Let's see...

Renovations to my house: done. Nothing extremely spectacular though. My room's not changed much, but then again it's always been fabulous anyway. Hard to improve on perfection.

No pictures. Sorry.

Trip to Beijing: yup, and I have the empty pockets to prove it. My money, which used to be my sweat and blood, is now a pile of fake crocs and BB creams.

Got to ride on the fast train from Beijing to Tianjin. Not as fast as the bullet train, but at least way faster than the Commuter.

Brother: married. Might have pictures. Need consent before uploading for the world to see.

My mom: back in Beijing. Moving to a new house in July.

Me personally?

Job: nil.
School: who knows.
Love life: what?

What am I doing right now? Uuh. Sitting on my ass. Catching up on my downloads.

Oh, and dealing with grief and battling against depression.

Any insignificant changes?

I recently tried colored contact lenses. Hazel brown. And crystal gray yang macam hantu. I like it. It scares people off.

My hair is longer. And I rebonded it and dyed it blonde.
Just kidding.

Paid for a manicure. This one's true.

My favorite pair of sneakers right now is yellow.

I've never had yellow colored shoes before. At least now no one will run over my feet if I'm standing on the road in the dark.

Bought a Nintendo DSi in matte white.

My newest companion and love connection, I guess.

My pets?

Months ago I surrendered custody of the pigs to him. They're doing fine over there. I miss them badly but it might actually be better for them this way. *SIGH*

Hmmmm. They would definitely love straw filled donuts!

My cat has officially retired from cathood and is now living as a recluse in a lakeside resort somewhere south of here.

Si putih... is no longer putih, but still barks strangers away, so I say looks shouldn't matter much.

Animals are great. In fact, quite a portion of my money has gone towards the upkeep of the bird park, I must say. How many times have I been there just this past year alone...?

I must say, what drives me there...

is to see him and his relatives.

*SIGH*

Alright, this is quite an achievement for someone who did not feel like writing.

I'll stop here.

♥,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,♥

My dear friends,

those who are nowhere near me, I apologize if my emails have gotten very slow lately. I'm trying my best. Please believe me.

those who are back for the summer/winter, I apologize if I have not been quite reachable. I don't quite feel as sociable, but I am trying my best. Again, please believe me.

those who have yet to return... I hope I won't have to extend more apologies, but in the event that I have to... please understand. It's not been easy.

I miss him very badly, I've lost my footing and all bearing, and not even real life can distract me from the fact that I am no longer alive.

I know the intention is to help, but please, the best help right now is to not try to tell me what you think I should do. Because first of all I'm not you, and second, I'm still not capable of doing that which you think I should do.

I am weak and fragile and afraid. I am confused and angry and dejected.

After ten weeks, I still cry myself to sleep every night.
Every night.

I'm not curable, not fixable right now, there is nothing you can prescribe to help ease the pain.

The bleeding heart refuses to stop bleeding.

For now, forever, I don't know for how long.

Please tell me, what do you think is the proper mourning period for the passing of someone you've loved with all your heart for what feels like an entire lifetime...?

I am destroyed.
Believe me.

The Evil Turn

2009-03-15T22:38:00.009+08:00

Went to Ikano yesterday.
Kali pertama.

I've always gone to IKEA, but never thought to enter the Power Center. LOL. Kali pertama.

Not at all as I had imagined, and I had imagined it to be supercool, so-so-happening, and the likes. Rupanya just another ordinary mall.

Wasn't really disappointed though.

Didn't end up in The Curve just to check out Ikano.
Was there for IKEA actually.

Spying and snooping for possibly purchases on the next visit.

The journey there was hillarious. The one driving didn't know the way there, and so relied on the navigator. The navigator gave directions that involved many loops and detours. But got there anyway.

It must be noted that the one driving was very good at obeying instructions. In fact, if the navigator gave instructions to make u-turns after u-turns, the one driving would have made them. Even if it meant he would be driving around in circles.

The journey back was just as fun, although pretty straight-forward, dapat lalu terowong Penchala. Hohoho. Jakun.

No matter how many times I've passed through it, tetap jakun.

It was raining. The one driving drove in the rain.
Not bad.

The navigator (who always fell asleep during the rain) was trying hard not to fall asleep. If the navigator fell asleep, the driver would have to pull over and sleep too. (sebab tak tau jalan balik)

Strange thing about the parking bay at Ikano; it causes the wheels to squeak and scream on every turn. Apahal??? So annoying. I'm sure other people have noticed it too...?

Somebody should do something about it.

Anyway, happy to report:

Nanas dah berbuah. And it's pink!!!

Mereka dah jadi raksasa...

Sangat sihat and gembira. But have forgotten all about me... T_______T

Can't blame them, can I...?

Nerd Alert

I've been spending too much time with my toys.

Between Tamagotchi Connection Corner Shop 3 and Phoenix Wright, dunia aku dah semakin kecil. *SIGH*

And while orang lain semua dah upgrade to more canggih/complex machine. I'm getting reacquainted with a PSOne.

Nak cari games for it dah near impossible. Sedih kan?

Vanity Fair

Dah biasa pakai Sun Play brand of sunblocks. Either the pink powdery finish type or the clear water type.

No complaints on either, tapi after awhile, dah rasa jemu pulak.

I'm thinking of going for the one from Neutrogena. It's more cost-effective and has a higher SPF... hmmm. But I've not seen any testers, so I don't know what the texture is going to be like.

Sun Play is actually thin and runny, just like water. It's really easy to spread. I wonder what this one is like?

Also, BBmania is back.

The one I'm using right now is this one:

I like that it's not drying and yet not greasy, and I like that my skin feels softer even after removing it at night. But I dislike the smell... and I think the packaging is a little too... adult looking. LOL

I didn't buy into all the whitening anti-wrinkle claims - not my thing, but it did help me rid of old marks left behind from rashes/reactions/kulit menggila. So that's a huge PLUS.

Ia belum habis lagi.
Tapi ia terlalu mahal. Like seriously mahal.
Jadi sayang nak habiskan.

LOL.

Maniac.

Selain dari itu, juga pernah menggunakan the low-end Skin Food's Aloe BB and the one from Dodo Club. Disliked the former for being too drying, and absolutely hated the latter for being too evil (gatal. Ada mineral oil rupanya) Didn't bother with the Face Shop's BB simply because it has tea tree oil in it - and I react badly to that.

Etude House at Times Square carry their BB line, so does Missha at Ikano. Malangnya dua-dua pun very limited.

Of course, as screwed up as we know the universe to be, the one I want is the one they don't carry. Hah.

eBay it is then.

It's been almost a year since I first drooled over this, back then prices plus shipping costs were ridiculous. Now it's become more reasonable.

So I think I'm going to buy it.

Before it skyrockets and becomes ridiculous again.
Or am I being ridiculous...?

The Evil Unravelled

2009-03-13T18:09:00.012+08:00

Will write on lighter things today. Tak mau melaporkan kesengsaraan dan kesibukan sebenar dalam kehidupan seharian...

The Olay Incident:

Olaymania is reignited.

For the past year or so, I've been a religious Olay user. It's been a great year, my skin likes me again, and Clinique counters have never seen me since.

I still use these:

No complaints here.

Oh wait, ada satu. None of them are sold here. *SIGH*

I've only been back in KL for two weeks, so a lot of things (which aren't really) seem pretty new to me.

Like this Olay Total Effects lotion.
Plus a Touch of Foundation.

An interesting item, considering I'm in my mid-20's now.

I'm not super vain and the thought of growing older never bothers me; after all, we all shrivel up and turn to dust in the end, so anti-aging things never really speak to me.

But I like Olay and a tinted moisturizer would definitely come in handy... so... a conversation with an SA took place.

Me: Excuse me, hi, do you have a tester for this? *points*

SA: So lucky you, we just open one. Here, I let you try.

Me: Ah, it has pink undertones *disappointed*

SA: Oh don't worry, will suits everyone one

Me: But it has pink undertones. I'm yellow

SA: Hor? Can~ Caaaan~ Will suits everyone one

Me: Then I will have a pink face and my neck will be yellow?

SA: No lah, put on neck also can

Braincells killed: 376,900

Me: Does it come only in one formula?

SA: Ya, only normal one. You got sensitive skin is it?

Me: Not really, I just prefer things to be unscented

SA: But you can try this one, got SPF15

Me: But it's scented right?

SA: Nevermind one

Me: But I don't want a scented lotion

SA: But cannot smell the scent

Me: But I can smell it!

SA: Nevermind one!

Braincells killed: 6,224,891

Me: Mmmm... will it clog pores?

SA: Eh?

Me: I mean, whenever color is added into moisturizer there is always a chance that it will clog pores

SA: Eh, no-lah. Same only with the original one, but this one got color

Me: Yes... *SIGH* but will the color pigments clog pores?

SA: No-lah, but if you still worry you can put moisturizer underneath

Me: What?

SA: If you put moisturizer before foundation then foundation won't clog pores one, so maybe if you put moisturizer before foundation then won't clog pores

Me: But that defeats the purpose of a tinted moisturizer

SA: no lah, I say if you worry only, safer like this mah

Me: If I put moisturizer on first, I might as well put real foundation on after, instead of a tinted moisturizer. Why would I buy this if I still have to put on a separate moisturizer first? It makes no sense

SA: This one got free gift cream cleanser

Braincells killed: 98,354,782

Total braincells killed: who knows? I killed way too many to be able to count up to more than 10

And so the bottom line is:
Nampak macam best, so I'm probably gonna try it out (despite the fact that it kills braincells, might clog pores, is the wrong color, is scented, and I'll probably need a separate moisturizer too) simply because it comes with a free gift.

Just kidding.

Except for the pore clogging possibility (which all new things pose), the rest wasn't really a put-off. The pink undertones was barely noticeable, the scent was pretty mild and does go away after some time, and did a pretty decent job at moisturizing.

I tried the tester on my face btw. It did not itch. But I WAS a slightly greasier monkey by the end of the day.

But tak sampai jadi Lagenda Orang Minyak, of course.

The Gotchi Issue:

Telurmania is back.
First launched in 1996, they've surely come a long way since.

Daripada simple egg, it grew IR, then they built a town, then they were given careers, then they had families, then they became celebrities... not long from now they'll take over the planet.

Here we have it
The (basic) Tamagotchi Evolution.

Top Row L-R: p1, v2, v3, v4
Bottom Row L-R: v4.5, v5, v5.5, Mametchi the annoying Tama-bitch-i

Bandai memang pandai, (Bandai pandai... hmmm) every year or so they come up with a newer, more canggih model that supersedes its predecessor... forcing Tamafans to upgrade to a new Tama. Every now and then they come up with special edition Tamas - minis, Ninjagotchi, Angelgotchi, Tamaschool, dan beribu-ribu jenis lagi. Of course respectable Tamafans must add these to their ever-growing Tamacollection.

Seriously evil.

The last time I forked out money for these plastic eggs, it was to buy the v.3

Not only have they not given me time to acquire v4,v4.5, v5, v5.5, these syaitans at Bandai have come up with a whole new Tama altogether, I believe just to piss me off.

Behold
The Tamagotchi Color.

Syaitan.
RM250.

Somebody please, point me to the nearest bank with the crappiest security and greatest possibility of escape.

Or a generous single rich old man with a fat wallet.

The Root Unravelled

2009-03-11T10:38:00.011+08:00

Penat.
Penat sangat.
Penat sangat sangat.

I've been too tired to update.

When I'm too tired, the connection between my head and my fingers is severed, so even though I may have a lot to write about, I would not have the ability to do so.

I'm gonna cheat by making the fonts a little bit bigger than in previous entries supaya cepat je penuh. Okay?

Ho ho ho.

Apa sudah terjadi kebelakangan ini?

It's all about the brother who wants to get married in June.

NILAI 3

The third phase of Nilai industrial area, an explosion of colors and barang-barang persiapan kahwin. I have been going there almost every other day. And I do not live in Nilai, not even close.

...well maybe I do now.

Oh wow warna-warninya kehidupan!

MENCARI DEWAN

Dah jumpa dah.

@RM110/hour siap kerusi meja. Murah. Oh Muraaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

BAK the Tailor

off Jalan TAR. No pictures yet. Have gone there almost every two days. Ada-ada je change in the plans/kemahuan/design of the baju nikah/kahwin. Gila la.

JALAN IPOH DAN SEUMPAMA

Tiles, fixtures and etc.

To pecah: 3 bathrooms, a kitchen and the driveway.

Next stop: IKEA. Untuk mengIKEArize rumah.

MAKAN BESAR

Sampling the caterer's er... sample, to narrow down which caterer to engage, and what dishes to serve on the actual day nanti.

Gemuklah aku.

Okay okay, it's not just about my brother, ada juga personal indulgences.

New DS Kart

The DSTT. Because as previously mentioned, my current Kart R4 does not support SDHC, and since the company that made R4 was sued off their asses by nintendo a few years back, there are no longer updates for R4 firmware. So I'm running an ancient console on a prehistoric Kart right now.

I can't afford a DSi in the near future, so will have to keep up with the DSl upgrades instead. Nintendo has screwed me up so bad that I now need rehab to kick the habit.

Except... I don't want to kick the habit.

More self-destructing gadgets

Finally own a digital camera. This one to be exact:

Which goes against everything I believe in. Tapi orang dah belikan.....

Other things that might be interesting:

1. My junior high classmates had a reunion and I wasn't invited.
I would not have gone anyway, but I would like to have been given the chance to decline. *SIGH* Gila jahat aku ni.

2. Matahari has given me a new possible cause of death. Two actually, dehydration and melanoma. One quicker than the other though. Way quicker.

3. I sleep with my wedding planner/reno/beijing trip/journal(a green binder) now. This is self-explanatory.

4. My MSN has refused to work. So you won't see me on it.

The end.

p/s: pictures taken were taken not with the new camera.

The Root Grows

2009-03-02T17:21:00.016+08:00

I have not updated since 2008, how about that?

I bet many gave up the wait.

I bet many believed me to be dead. Or at least my blog.

Tak perlu risau, masih hidup lagi.

Dah banyak merantau ke sana sini. Took about a million pictures.

Saw a lot of interesting things.

Even went to places that people don't go to.

Buat benda merepek.

LOL.

It's been crazy, so I'm staying put for awhile.

Now back in KL, hoping for just a little peace and quiet.

Until May 15th that is.

That's when all the craziness starts again.

Those who care, you know how to reach me.

The Mushroom Grows

2008-12-03T15:18:00.009+08:00

朋友们，你好。

Oh has it really been that long since I updated?

Haha.

Okay, actually the lack of internet is not the real problem. It's the kemalasan that has stood between me and any new entries here.

I've been online quite regularly, once or twice a week, every other week at least. Those who have received regular emails from me, tahniah! Those who haven't... er.. I must apologize. It's not that you mean less, or that news from you is not as important - but it takes two to tango, kan?

Doesn't matter. Anyway

Life here?

For obvious reasons, it's cold.

They say winter started officially on November 15th. And who is this "they"? The government. Isn't so cool when somebody just sets the date and the whole country's heating system goes on? We have no need for meteorological studies anymore. Just point to a day on the calendar and hey presto!

Waitaminute? If winter starts in November and spring in March... berapa bulan sejuk tu? Aiyo.

Temperature fluctuate violently. One minute it could be bearable, the next minute your fingers have gone missing (frozen solid and senseless) Now your head aches from being overdressed, later it aches from being underdressed.

I have not really really seen the sun in two days. Terasa rindu akan kehangatan ia. There are no more leaves on trees, and those evergreen ones are covered in army green canvas to prevent them from dying in the snow - should snow come. Some river and lakes have started to ice over. Eating ice cream in a public place now is considered to be an act of lunacy.

I have been getting around.

I've been taking people on tour of the city. Well more like a tour of the ancient capital.

The Forbidden Palace (actually it's no longer called the Forbidden Palace since it's... no longer forbidden. They call it the Palace Museum now. Let's get that straight) is must. Along with TianAnMen Square across the street from it (site of the student massacre)

The Summer Palace, Ming Tombs, The Great Wall at Badaling, the Temple of Heaven those are all favorite tourist spots. I'm great with ancient history, so I can talk and point and satisfy the need to know.

Unfortunately I'm not very good at satisfying the need to feed. Kalau nak mintak bawak pergi good restaurants or nak makan itik panggang or that sort of stuff, maaf. This guide packs her own food wherever she goes.

But most of my guests are all sengkek/kedekut/on a tight budget, so it works out. LOL. Imagine just how curious the chinese were to see a bunch of tourists all huddled together on a bench eating nasi himpit and sambal tumis ikan bilis and serunding.

ROCK ON WEST SIDE!!!

The brother and I showing Beijingites how it's done. LOL.

I would love to upload more pictures of myself, but unfortunately I have no camera at the moment. My cellhone rosak. Jatuh dalam... air. Let's not get into the details. I'm now using Nokia1200 which my brother lovingly bought for me. Phone hebat yang tiada apa-apa, but has a built in flashlight. HAHAHAHAHA seronok. He chose it because it was the cheapest phone in the store. Lovingly indeed.

Besides, it's a little embarassing that in all my pictures, I will appear to be wearing the same clothes over and over and over again.

See? These were all taken on different days. The reason for this: I'm too broke to buy clothes. HAHAHAHAHA.

But the great thing about cold weather is that nobody freakin cares what you wear. You could be wearing the exact same thing for thirty days straight and nobody would make a big deal out of it (except for my mom that is)

Besides, my sin is not that great; I wear my clothes for weeks before throwing it into the wash - but I shower daily. Most people here don't even shower. In fact I'm not surprised if they've stopped showering completely the minute the government announced it was winter. They smell like death.

And I wouldn't be surprised at all if the flowers are already blooming the next time they grab for that bath towel...

Okay gross. Enough.

I don't sweat. So my clothes don't smell. I shower. So I don't smell.

And I carry my Dr Pepper lip balm to sniff on when I'm in a crowd. My mom suggested tiger balm, but I say lip smackers are not to be reckoned with. It's so heavily perfumed (which is actually not a very good ting) that it overpowers anything else in the atmosphere.

Dead skunks? Rotting human flesh? Nope, can't smell em.

These things are called BingTangHuLu

Hawthorn dipped in caramel and poked through with a long sharp stick. Think: candied apples. But processed lebih violently.

I personally prefer the strawberry ones, but they're not as easy to find. Hawthorn on a stick is the traditional cold weather treat. Yes cold weather, they won't survive the summer heat. I've waited the entire year to eat these again, and they've definitely contributed to a bulging waistline.

No, not even my superhuman metabolic rate can burn of the sugar in these things. But then again, I eat them on a daily basis.

And what are hawthorns? Well, you know those little haw flakes we eat? Ala... yang selalu curi makan dalam class tu... This is what they're made of. Hawthorn. Masam. And banyak biji. Pain in the ass to pick out the seeds, but worth it.

Other variations: kiwi, tangerines, grapes... anything that can go on a stick really. This is where imagination comes in... LOL.

Okay, this is it.

Time for me to get on that bus and find my way home.

再见。

AJ Redmusketeer
in Shijingshan, China.

The Mushroom Affair

2008-10-26T09:44:00.010+08:00

I've been so addicted to the *New* Super Mario Brothers lately.

Mario 64 just doesn't do it for me, and as such, has been set aside.

If only real life was that simple eh? Everything moved from left to right and left again, cold coins are left lying around... ooh, and then the power ups. OMG THE POWER UPS.

Fire Flowers would allow you to shoot fireballs at those you hate. YAAAAH MATI KAU MATI KAU MATIKAU MATIKAU MATIMATIMATI!!!!!

The Super Mushroom would double your size and strength, making you bigger and stronger - striking fear into the hearts of those who dare oppose you. LOL.

A Mega Mushroom turns you into a giant (like Mario in the first pic) and you'd be able to crush anything and everything that stood in your way. Way more dahsyat than the Super Mushroom; particularly useful for would-be world destroyers kan?

The 1up mushroom, my absolute favorite, grants you another life. You can collect up to 99 of them, giving you 99 spare lives. Woooo more lives: exactly what I need! More lives than a cat!!!

The Mini Mushroom shrinks you into the size of a kutu. A flea. Yes. If you've made too many enemies that even with the Fire Flower pun you can't take care off, turn into a flea. Nak nyorok kan senang?

But the horrible thing about life in Kinoko Koku (Mushroom Kingdom) is that you gotta break bricks and boxes using your head. Ouch! Pecah jugak kepala. Kalau tak pecah pun, makin lama makin bodoh...

But I guess it wouldn't be such a big deal. With all the gold coins lying around, I'm sure they'd come in handy in taking care of the hospital bills.

Btw I bought the white DS bag from DealExtreme.

I think many misunderstood my entry about the cute bags. I only meant to buy one of these DS bags to house my machine, not the underwear purse, or the camera purse, or the doggie bag... so it was a COLOR vote not a bag vote. LOL. If I were to get my hands on the others, it would be to store things OTHER than my DS.

This particular DS bag has pockets built in so I could also stuff the charger, extra stylus and cards in along with the machine.

Dia mesti bising sebab banyak buang masa and duit. LOL.

Here we have more evidence of time well spent.

Did one of a psp slim & lite, but I'm not too proud of it yet. Decided not to upload until I've put in the finishing touches. Who knows when that'll be.

Also working on my baby holga. Progress is reeeaaally slow, it's definitely a lot harder than first imagined. Too many lines and a lot of minor details that cannot be ignored. Oh well.

I'll continue working on these two in Beijing.

Speaking of which...

I now have my e-ticket and will be leaving on November 1st, 0030H.

(gomen nasai, I won't be here on my birthday ~____~;)

On all previous trips, I've always travelled by Air China. They carry people with an extinct breed of Boeing-757's, a small three and three seater aircraft. This time though, I'll be flying to Beijing by Malaysia Airlines on an Airbus-330, a monster three-four-three plane. Woohooo~!

I rarely fly MAS because of their ticket prices. In fact I think I can count on one hand the instances I ever was on board the wau flights. To and from KK eight years ago, Kuching when I was 13, and the UKs a lifetime ago.

Okay, that's six, and I DO NOT have six fingers on my hands... but I'm sure you get my point.

Flew Thai Air to Europe, Airasia to all destinations in SE Asia... bila masa nak naik MAS?

Selama ni beli return ticket, and MAS return tickets cost about 50% more than Air China, making the latter the obvious choice. This time around however, I only needed a one way ticket, and MAS one way is MERELY HALF THE PRICE OF AIR CHINA'S.

Dah lama tak naik MAS... So on Saturday, November 1st, nak buat jakunlah.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So with e-ticket in hand, serious packing now begins.

Toiletries, stok makanan kering, ikan, daun daunan dan rempah, kuih raya, hadiah... eh, but MAS is pretty strict with their 20kg baggage limit ha? Leceh.

Do tell me what's wrong with this picture?

LOL. LOL. LOLOLOL.

p/s: current total weight: 15kg.

The Bagged Affair

2008-10-22T09:59:00.014+08:00

Nothing but carnage lately.

The Lakehouse

Banjir.

Much scrubbing was needed to turn all terracotta tiles back to its former white glory. Don't get me started on the Febreze.

Almost took out the bridge. This is one of the three cracks on the bridge. A lot of people couldn't cross over to get back to their houses that night.

Oh wow. Never stand in the path of raging water, eh?

Notice the watermark? That's about five inches.

We weren't hit as badly as some others were. Some were knee-deep in muck, some waist-deep. Ugh.

The screen trapped most of the junk, none got into the house. Only good old fashioned stinky sticky mud.

Doesn't look too bad, does it?

.....

Good thing we didn't leave a lot of things lying around in the house... *phew*

One entire Saturday, many sore bodies and bottles of febreze, and three hundred bucks later, the whole place was restored to its former state. Well, almost.

Masih berbau...... (ew!!!)

Batu 9

Deforestation.

The majlis have decided to chop down all the three-decade-old trees because some people were complaining and being all paranoid about em.

They're all turning into firewood.

Or papan lapis.

The falling logs knocked out one service pipe, one house's front gate, a telephone service pole and some power lines.

Pandai.

Dogs love trees therefore hate the majlismen.

Go on Lembu, go on Snowflake. Unleash hell!!!

So weird. In one house, we were tidying up the after effects of poor rainwater management.

In the other, we witnessed the possible cause of it.

Hai, dunia...

*SIGH*

Moving on to more meaningless (or meaningful depending on who you are) things:

AJ v Clinique (Malaysia)

No, I'm not suing Clinique.

But only because I have no resources to do so *SIGH*

Anyway, I've always had a love-hate relationship with the brand, love the products yet hate the company. (their SA's are known to be among the worst!)

This used to be my 1-2-3.

Two months ago, as I was running low on supplies, I went to Pavilion... and was made to face the worst abuse in the history of me and Clinique.

They had new people there, and none would listen to my complaints, none would bother about my preferences, and they all wanted to sell me what THEY wanted me to buy and not what I really needed.

I walked out.

I decided I wasn't going to give my money to a bunch of pirates, and without thought, switched to a drugstore brand, and I'm glad I did!

It's been two months and so far so good. No new spots since, and whatever I brought back from Beijing is healing pretty well.

The Cleansers

What they have in common: both are 200ml, neither are drying.
Clinique: slightly foaming gel. smells a little weird... macam serai?
Olay: foamy and creamy. better at removing makeup and grime. easy to rinse off

The Toners

What they have in common: er... nothing.
Clinique: the normal version is loaded with too much alcohol, the moisture version is sticky and broke me out
Olay: refreshing without being too obnoxious

The Moisturisers

What they have in common: both are easily absorbed and don't turn me red
Clinique: very cooling, but was not moisturizing enough unless I used a fifty cent coin dollop!
Olay: a pea sized amount is enough for the whole face, and a little extra on persistent dry patches. Has SPF

The Bottom Line

What they have in common: neither make me itchy
Clinique: overpriced average stuff in pretty packaging
Olay: outperforms at a much much more reasonable price

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Clinique itself is bad. A lot of people have had good luck with it, in fact I have too in the past. I don't have sensitive skin, or acne-prone skin, or dry/combi/oily skin, I just have... weird skin.

It simply hates things at random.

I tolerate most cleansers, and usually never bother with toners. I rarely make up my mind based on the merits or flaws of those two. But when it comes to moisturizers, oh how I simply love moisturizers and moisturizing ♥ ♥ ♥

My skin drinks it like water.

While most people will use a bottle for almost half a year, I usually do it all up in three months. Or less.

So not only does the lotion need to be good, it also needs to be easy on the pockets.

Hahaha. Gila lotion.

Actually, I grew up watching my mom rub Olay onto her face. Back in those days, there weren't much to choose from anyway, and Olay was one of the leading brands then.

Now in her later years, she's moved on to something more age-intensive. She uses Clarins, which is good for complicated skin types, but I myself cannot afford - yet. (yes, lebih mahal dari Clinique)

Remember that he once bought a basic set for me as a birthday present? I was left with empty moisturizer bottle just after the New Years. For someone who goes through stuff at supersonic speed, Clarins is not the brand to fall in love with.

Not yet, at least.

Maybe one day, when I'm a filthy rich lawyer or something.

LOL.

(L-R)
White Radiance SPF24: free from a mag. weird SPF value. a little bit too much alcohol in it IMHO, making it less moisturising, the runniest of the four. it also stings when in contact with my dry patches. probably best for oilier skin. hate that it's whitening, kalau apply too much, memang automatically jadi white. as in putih. macam hantu. apakejadahnya??! tapi dah pun habis.

White Radiance SPF19: again, weird SPF value. less alcohol, more creamy in texture, handles the dry patches better. same hantu putih problem, plus ada flecks for extra "radiance". wth. tapi yang ini juga sudah pun habis so who cares.

Complete Care Sensitive SPF15: came from Abu Dhabi ^_^; I love that it's unscented and takde whitening whitening ni. The thickest in texture among the lot, don't ever use if you have oily skin. I use this one at night time, applying on the dry patches, around my eyes, etc. Memang "Complete" la... LOL

Complete All Day Moisture Lotion SPF15 Normal: this one has the longest name. LOL. Came from the US of A. Great texture for daytime lotion, doesn't induce oil production, makeup goes on nicely. Unfortunately it carries that signature Olay scent. Not too strong though, so still tolerable

nb: none of them gave me zits or made me red or itch. Trust mom to know right?

Right now I'm waiting for the Complete All Day Moisture Lotion SPF15 in Sensitive skin version. That one will be unscented.

Mana dapat? eBay of course.

Many many thanks to those who have been supportive of my lotion habit.

^_________________^

Okay.

I'm ending this entry with some colors.

Tell me what you see.....

The Bagged Lives

2008-10-16T14:52:00.023+08:00

I recently (in the last 24 hours to be exact) started watching Monk/Office/Clue on my DS. I could have done so all this while, but never really gave it much thought... until the boy with the PSP started watching stuff on his (bleargh) machine.

The peniru in me awoken.

And so I started on a quest to convert my already awesome machine into a super duper awesome movie playing machine.

And I've succeeded.

HURRAY!!!

Yeah screen IS a little small, but I'm not complaining.

Now storage becomes an issue. I want to carry my favorite stuff in the SD card, but only so much can fit in a 2gb card.

Solution: time to upgrade to a bigger card.

New problem: cards bigger than 2gb (ie. 4gb and so on) are now (almost) all SDHC.

So what is the big deal?

The big deal is... that.....
MY R4 isn't friggin compatible with SDHC's!!!

[NANGIS TAK BERLAGU]

I have a dinosaur in my Slot-1.

*SIGH*

Spent half of the day on DealExtreme (site for gadgets. Free shipping worldwide tau?) looking through the looooong list of ds cards.

It would be just great if I could own a Cyclo DS Revolution. Now these are (currently) the best cards money can buy.

Problem is, it just takes TOO MUCH money to buy em. $50++ to be exact.

In comes the cheaper alternatives:

Now these are a whole lot more affordable (for me). They are as equally SDHC compatible, which is pretty much all I'm looking for right now since all I wanna do is expand my memory from 2gb to... say... 8gb.

And what shall befall my R4 and 2gb cards? They'd be exclusively used for games. The new one is for media.

All cards seem to be moonshell compatible (media player for ds) -though not all are preloaded with it (a problem which a simple download will solve)- but unfortunately, I am the sort of ds-idiot who still can't figure out, even if my life depended on it, how to use the moonshell. HAH HAH HAH.

So I currently rely on DSVideo. Which is pretty awesome in my book (after I figured out how to convert .avi's to .dsv's that is)

I'm leaning towards the cheapest of the lot, the DSTT, because if I'm gonna settle for a cheaper card, I might as well get the cheapest of the lot. Plus it's white, it'll flush in completely with my machine. Unfortunately... DSVideo patching for DSTT, EDGE, and EZFlash V+ .IS.NOT.AVAILABLE.YET.

DSVideo will not work with DSTT, EDGE or EZFlash V+. Although there IS a patched version for acekard2, but that is untested. Takut.

If I get any of the cheaper cards I won't be able to use DSVideo. It would defeat the entire purpose of buying a new card. *SIGH*

Time to go to plan B.

[jeng jeng jeng]

PLAN B
Call him up and cry on the telephone

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Also went through the accessories section. Will buy the white USB power cable. $1.97 sahaja. Tak payah angkut charger lagi.

Also want to buy a bag for my ds, this one in particular:

It will hold the machine, a charger, usb cables, game/flash/SD cards, rumble paks, etc; and is less than $6 free shipping worldwide. No brainer eh? HIT BUY!

But which color?

I like the white one, but I'm gonna have to wash it often to keep it white. That's quite a hassle. The pink one will match my ds, (but then again, my ds is pink on the outside white on the inside - both white and pink will match) but I own quite a lot of pink things already. Time to shake it up a bit. While the green one actually looks nice, I already carry quite a lot of green in my bag (chicken/puffer, one up, glasses case, dogtown journal). Variety is the spice of life.

Shall we go with the blue? um.....

Nah. I think I'll stick with the white. LOL.

Kalau ada lilac/purple bagus jugak!

Comments people?

Hmm. Since I've started on bags, I'm just gonna keep going. They HAVE preoccupied me for the longest time now...

I ♥ BAGS/PURSES

Let's continue with: Parcel's "Brief Case" (they did well with the name, didn't they?). Hebat eh?

Looking for pictures online was not an easy task. Owners, please take more pictures for seriously envious non-owners such as this person... (the ice cream printed brief is adorable kan?)

*SIGH*

This is to die for:

Gives new meaning to the term "doggie bag" eh? LOL

Ini pun comel comel comel!!!

Cram cream cases are adorable jugak, and while there ARE some adorable ones on eBay, I'm trying hard not to look at them so much because I'm trying not to buy them. Sebab tidak mahu dibelenggu kemiskinan.

Their prints are so devilicious!!!

It's hard work - stopping oneself from buying adorable things. It is indeed.

Index finger. Asyik. Nak. Click. BUY!!!

Sort of like in Idle Hand. Uncontrollable tangan. Hmm.

I am also absolutely in love with these:

Too bad the Hine Etsy store is closed until January 2009... or is it a good thing? Who knows how much one of these costs, and how many I could've ended up buying. LOL.

It seems that people use em to store their digicams or ipods. I have neither. So what will I use it for...?

I'll think of something.
I always do.

If I can find a decent shop that sells felt... I can make some myself. Hmmm.

Oh no,
did I just spend the whole of today on the internet, doing nothing else but look at things?

Oh no indeed.

The Wit Lives

2008-10-12T15:01:00.014+08:00

If I had a billion dollars to spare, I would order this customized Timbuk2 tote.

But I don't. So...

*SIGH*

I have succeeded in clearing out my makeup stash. Now everything I own fits in one box and I beam with pride everytime I look at it.

lip balm, concealer
mineral blush, foundation, vitamin powder
various mineral samples, sharpener
(empty) butterfly compact
two glosses, Dr Pepper, two stain sticks
lipstick, two glosses, roll-on perfume
two eyeliners, powder brush, blusher brush, foundation brush
(needs to buy mascara)

I HEART these IKEA boxes.

I suppose to those who don't wear makeup, or wear just the tiniest bit, this is still a lot. But I went from four giant airtight containers to this. *Bangga*

Went out with the Mermaid.

Places we went to: butterfly park, hibiscus and orchid park, and of course, the bird park.

While the rest is not quite worth blabbing about, the bird park is seriously a place one should consider visiting.

Unlike in zoos where the animals are just sitting in their miserable little cages with sad looks in their eyes begging to be let free... the bird park being a walk-in aviary, the bird fly free. Of course the netting kept birds from flying away, but they still allow birds to do what they do best; fly high, swoop in and scare the bejesus out of human beings.

Pretty well kept and definitely worth its ticket price of RM15.

And ada tong sampah paling best dalam dunia!!! OMGLOL

Ah. We had a great time there.

Would like to go there again some other time...

Time.....

Waitaminute.

Is it almost the third week of October already...???

That means... I'm just two weeks away from Beijing. Oh where did time go?

Lists lists lists, time for the obsessive compulsive list maker to start making lists!

To Do list:
I still need to:
1. Practice for my IELTS (yeah I know it's an easy test to score on, but still)
2. Work on my proposal and actually finishing it
3. Bug ATC for my caution fee refunds
4. Drink as much Dr Pepper as possible
5. Make roadtrips both north and south
6. Download more tv series
7. Hang out with dia, dia, dia, dia, dia, dia, dia and maybe dia juga.
8. Buy this, that and those.

This list:
1. Boh instant iced peach tea mix x1
2. Tesco hot chocolate mix
3. Choki choki original x5
4. Maggi vegetarian x1
5. Mamee noodle snack
6. Ayam Brand sardines
7. Boh songket set x1
8. Nescafe & Milo
9. Maggi kari and tomyam

The first six items are for personal consumption. The other items are gifts to kind Chinese friends. Maggi, Nescafe and Milo from Malaysia taste so much better than anything else everywhere else in the world.

YA. MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!

That list:
1. Face wipes
2. Cleansing milk
3. Waterless cleanser
4. Vaseline
5. Contacts solution

I'm still trying to get rid of the annoying spots/freckles from my previous stay in Beijing, and I'm heading there again. Takut. But this time I'm gonna be extra cautious when it comes to washing up. No way am I using recycled water to cleanse my face again!!!

At nighttime I'll use the milk to melt dirt/grime, face powder and blusher, and the wipes to... well, wipe it all off. Then rinse with bottled water.

In the mornings I'll go over with a cotton ball saturated with the waterless cleanser. Or if I'm too much of a cheapskate to buy waterless cleansers, I'll just get some alcohol free toner and use that instead.

The point is, no tap water on face.

I have the kind of skin that's so easily annoyed. It hates just about everything I think; any type of oils (including Tea Tree, VitE, olive, lavender) or creams, the wind, previously sunlight (but now not anymore), water, stubbly men. LOL.

I very often get flakes on my skin, and yet I do not have dry skin. A little dehydrated, maybe, but not dry. I try to fix the flakes, I end up with itchy spots. I try to deal with the itchy spots, I end up with... flakes again. Hello square one.

It's a bitch, definitely. But I guess it definitely is better than having no skin at all. So I'll shut up about it.

Those list:
1. Bayer aspirin
2. Vitamins ACE + Selenium tablets
3. Vegefruit capsules
4. Fish oil
5. Calcium supplements
6. Heart meds
7. ORSs

*ahem* Yes I really do need all these to survive.

Well, time to take the luggage out from its resting place then. I like to start early - dumping all things imaginable into the bag and taking the time to slowly pare it down to absolute necessities. That way I never overpack or underpack.

I'd just be packed.

The Wit Ends

2008-10-09T15:39:00.016+08:00

Hello, apa khabar semua?

He got me the much needed hard disk

Thank you!!! ^___^

It's a Pendrive from the new 2008 Signature series, 250GB TWO POINT FIVE. Warna hitam merah and sungguh bergaya!

If it were't for societal constraints, I'd give up men and start dating gadgets instead. *SIGH* If only...

I cleared up my computer. Moved the whole lot of 110GB of movies, Monk, Midsomer Murders, Office (US & UK) and Chuck into the new F: drive. I think I can hear the computer's sigh of relief.

Macam orang lepas minum Eno?

Sekarang perut dah lega, boleh makan lagi. What am I to download now? House perhaps? We'll see...

Anyway,

he got a black PSP slim & lite for his birthday. Now I bet he feels a little envious. I must admit, I myself was a little aroused by the PSP's abilities (huge screen, WiFi and mp3 playing, really) and the thought of owning a white one did cross my little mind...

BUT

THEN I FOUND OUT

ABOUT THE NEW

NINTENDO

DSi

"ADA APA BEZA?"

The DSi will have:

bigger screens

two cameras built in

on-board memory

an SD slot (to hell with R4s YEAH!!!)

built in web browser and WiFi connectivity

mp3 player with equalizer

a matte finish - bye bye fingerprints comot comot!

And the DSi will be slimmer and lighter than the DSLite. Pandai Nintendo.

MAAF SONY.
I WILL NOT CROSS OVER AFTER ALL.

NINTENDO STILL ROCKS MY SOCKS!

...though realistically speaking, I already have the Lite. What are the odds of me also owning the DSi...? Menunggu DSi bagaikan menunggu kucing bertanduk?

T_________T

Next on the (down-to-earth) toy list is a thumbrive. This one from Kingston to be exact:

Oh sungguh sexy.

Will make the purchase once a benefactor has been secured!!!

Mmmmm.
I'll end the post with some sexy, saucy pictures of pigs.

Enjoy.

Busuk.

Sungguh busuk.

The Holiday Ends

2008-10-07T13:40:00.011+08:00

I miss.... school.

*GASP*

Yes, I miss school.

Well okay,
not so much the going to school bit, or the learning bit. I'm never a fan of "being taught", clearly.

I miss the idea of school.

The pretty uniforms.

This one I always wear. I like white shirts, probably that's why. But more often than not, I end up with a vest over the shirt instead of a cardigan (for obvious reasons - KL heat)

The black Nike MJs look cute. I wonder berapa harga... (berangan) *SIGH* current financial situation forces me to stick to my white sneakers...

I used to wear this when I was in first year uni. Then I discovered heatstroke and its dangers, so the jacket retired. LOL.

Wish I had those Doc Marts though, they are seriously cute!!! Tapi harganya...? And I doubt they'd be comfy without thicker socks (from previous Doc Marts experiences) so no thank you. My feet hate thick socks more than... they hate water.

I like this. But I have no pink shirt. Love the skirt, but don't want to have to buy it online ~____~ Sini susah cari skirt cantik. Oh well, maybe the Fancy Pocket store in Beijing will have something similar.

Loafers and black socks/tights I have, and I sometimes wear them with the first set above.

I have yet to wear a sailor uniform in public. Maybe it's best that I don't considering what a scandalous image the sailorfuku has acquired in recent times...

It's no secret that I love uniforms.

But then again I just love school stuff in general.
And packing for school.

This year I didn't get to go back to school shopping. What heartbreak!!!

Aku gilakah?

(btw, what a wonderful thing Polyvore is...)

Saw this on a Topshop site.
INGIN!!!

Though I think I can make one myself with a plain white shirt, some paint and brushes :P We'll see

Aku memang gilakah?

(tak perlu jawab)

The Holiday Inn

2008-09-30T17:15:00.010+08:00

I have been coughing like a you-know-what for the past week.

So much sticky stuff in my throat. Choking in my sleep.

At first it was a remedy, now I'm addicted to it. Ubat Batuk Cap Ibu dan Anak.

Semuanya gara-gara milo kotak. Memang sedap. Lagi-lagi diminum sejuk. Oh they remind me of those Milo vans that used to come to our schools and give out free drinks. They served good milo, unlike those usually watered down ones we find in cafes and such.

I never liked going to school (gee, what a surprise?) and absolutely hated extra-hour activities, club meets, sports carnivals... but whenever the Milo van was rumored to be making its appearance, I'd set all hatred aside and be there.

Lapipun sanggup pulak join in a queue of sweat-covered-germ-infested free Milo fans. All fear aside, demi Milo kan?

Sebab minum Milo anda jadi sihat dan kuat~!

Sedaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.
I bought the 1l box. Bukak, tuang masuk gelas... minum. Tuang lagi. Minum lagi. Tuang lagi. Amboi, tak boleh berhenti minum. Sampai habis sekotak tu!

Sedap memanglah sedap.....
Tapi OMG SO EVIL. Gatal betul tekak!!!
Sampai sekarang tak kurang kurang T___T

(I should be thankful I didn't get poisoned)

Okay, fine, I from now on will stick to non-dairy hot chocolate mixes.

*SIGH*

Well well well.

I'm hearing many awful things from my friends who are doing the CLP course, both in ATC and BAC. Lectures on weekends three to five hours long. 200 in a hall. A lecturer who goes and grills his students one by one... by one...

I'm definitely not made for CLP then.

In fact I believe I wouldn't have made it through the first class.

I would've killed myself halfway through.

Speaking of killings... this now is my mission:

First two seasons down. Nine more to go.
Oh computer, ampun maaf dipinta.

Rapidsharing IS EVIL.

And hello hello.

I am so fascinated by the nostril shot.

Don't piggies have just the cutest lips?

Last but not least, to all celebrating,

EID MUBARAK 1429

Those who do not,
just enjoy the holidays.

p/s: I am leaving again in THREE weeks. What with dealing with teachers and the school and graduation stuff and taking the IELTS, visiting relatives, running about between houses, going in and out of banks, buying food and packing, etc... whosoever feels the need/want to see me, better let me know soon.

The One In

2008-09-27T14:09:00.012+08:00

I hate the Pos Malaysia website.

I used their online calculator to calculate poslaju cost for an item I was about to sell and got rm3.50 as my total. After adjusting for S&H, I charged my buyer rm4.

My buyer promptly paid price plus poslaju charges.

Today I went to the post office.
Was charged rm5.20. Just great.

Rugi rm1.70 on the shipping.

Remember that I'm in my clearing mode, so the money doesn't really matter to me. I just wanted to get rid of my stuff, so I didn't mind that the difference in the shipping had to come out of my item's price.

Heck, I would've been glad to give it away for free if I thought anybody was interested.

It's really not the money. rm1.70 is just pocket change. I probably wouldn't miss it is I misplaced it.

It's the being duped by a website that's getting to me. I shall never use the calculator again. Ever. Ever ever.

Rakan Kepercayaan Anda my foot.

*SIGH*

Fall is here (well not in KL obviously) and NBC has come to my rescue and solved my "I'm done downloading and watching Monk, what do I do now???!!!" problem.

Season 5 of The Office airs every Thursday night.

Though I wont be able to download as feverishly as I did with Monk, at least I'll have something new to watch every week.

Ah. I live.

I am so sore from cleaning up the whole house.

Vacuumed, mopped, scrubbed the bath, cleaned all mirrors, did most windows, wiped almost every surface with Dettol and Clorox disinfectant wipes. Kudos to those who came up with them, I can't even remember what life was like before 99.99% germ free was possible.

I'm pretty good at cleaning up.

And you know what? If this whole criminal justice thing doesn't work out for me, it's good to know that I already have an alternate career option.

I can always clean houses.

Professionally.

And get paid like rm30 per hour.

My mom is in town for the week. Yes THAT is why I've been so psychotic with the cleaning. I don't want her complaining about the place...

Which reminds me... they need a bath.

Yesterday a kancil ran into us from behind.

The damage didn't look as bad at first, just a dent in the rear bumper. But today we learn that the exhaust pipe cracked. No, we did not get the driver's phone number because at the site he paid us rm50 to get the dent taken care of. If we'd caught the crack there and then, we would've asked for the half-K.

It was a bumper to bumper crawl near half a mile to the police station traffic lights, and his feet had slipped off the brake pedal. Because he was wearing sliper jepun.

So please wear shoes while driving. At least get Asadi's if you're so bent on wearing slipers.

I don't know just what it is about me and cars, but whenever anything happens, just anything at all, I end up bumping my head against something hard. Yesterday was no exception.

For a while there I thought I saw stars.

I'm just lucky to have thick skull.

Between the roughhousing and boxing and car incidents and falling down stairwells and ladders and etc, I should be careful of developing Parkinson's disease.

*SIGH*

Well anyway, I've been completely consumed by this obsession for 1-up mushrooms.

This is my first ever quadrille sketchbook and it's filled with so many mushrooms (of assorted colors of course) that I've decided to name the sketchbook "The One Up Book". LOL.

Let's see if they attract any Italian plumbers. LOL.

Say if you're ever in the mood for some Batu Pahat style Nasi Beriani Gam, and you just so happen to be in the vicinity of Uniten (Bangi) you might wanna check this out:

KUDA????!!! OSTRICH?????!!!!!!

I wonder how they taste........

Hey, if you're so hungry you can eat a horse, now you know where you should go.

LOL.

In my last entry, I had gotten some dates mixed up and ended up wishing her a Happy Birthday before it was due.

Hah hah hah. Maaf ya?

Today (which is the right date) I shall wish her again!

^__________^;

The One-Up

2008-09-24T12:13:00.013+08:00

After a can of Pepper and a bag of Cheetos puffs, I decided to do away with the menu in the background. Nobody orders anything anymore anyway.

I still like the banner so decided not to get rid of it. Plus, malas nak come up with a new one... lol.

First up: my baby Holga.

This little plastic has made me happier than any little piece of plastic could ever make me feel (I've never owned a dildo so I wouldn't know how it would rank against that)

I'm only into frame .SIX. of the twenty four exp. roll. Yes, I'm being a little careful with it since I still can't find any shops in KL that carry the 110 film, and right now I only have six rolls.

My dad has been giving me hell about it. Tulah, pandai-pandai beli micro camera. Berangan nak jadi spy ke apa???

My brother was horrified to see a container full of film in the fridge. LOL. No, genius, it's not a madman who refrigerates his film.

I am also looking for a place to fix my F55.

With the birth of a generation of Super DSLRs, fixing analogue cameras has become a lost art. I have been told by two repairmen to send it back to Nikon. Really now???

It's only... 6 years old. Not THAT ancient.

If we're talking about my A35, then that's a different story. It's six years OLDER THAN I AM.

I don't expect anybody to remember this model. LOL.

The final addition to my camera family must be the Holga 120 GCFN.

We'll see if we can get it in Beijing on the next trip. It is, after all, MADE IN CHINA. LOL.

Oh oh, plus the upgrades of course. I want to use it with 135 film instead of the 120. Easier on the pockets.

And speaking of upgrades,
Up next: Associating with the Wizard of Oz

We've all read/seen the Wizard of Oz, haven't we? And we all know the Scarecrow, the Lion and the Tinman, don't we?

Well...

The Scarecrow could do with a brain. If he had a brain, he could think before he says or does anything. He wouldn't toy with other people's feelings by saying big, important things just to later take them back. He wouldn't retaliate like an angry teenager and seek revenge on little mistakes somebody else made.

And he would be able to behave like an adult.

The Lion requires some courage. If he had courage, he wouldn't always be so afraid to say or do what he really wanted to. He could break the habit of spending eternity trying to decide what to do and then not doing it at all in the end because of his lack of self-confidence. He wouldn't shrink away. He would face the world with his chin held high.

And he would be able to roar.

The Tinman needs a heart. If she had a heart, she wouldn't go around despising mankind. She would have the time to make plans for things other than world destruction. Her best friends would no longer be her toys and animal companions. She would be able to look at the world with her eyes open.

And her smiles would no longer be forced.

We all look for the Wizard.
Because we all think we need the Wizard.

We all feel the need to power up.

But real life is far more complicated than storybooks and Super Nintendos. There are no Wizards. No boxes with 1-up mushrooms waiting to be knocked on. (in fact, we shouldn't be eating brightly colored mushrooms, right?)

We don't enter from the left and exit through the right of the screen. And we sure as hell can't kill our enemies by throwing fireballs at them.

(and even if it's not against the law to throw fireballs at our enemies, it's not as easy for us to tell our enemies apart from our friends, is it?)

In the real world, upgrades and power ups don't come from Wizards and magical items. They come from within, don't they?

I wonder if guinea pigs need to power up?

While waiting to power up, I've whiling away the time with my little quadrille sketchbook. Drawing nothing that would attract anybody's interest...

Still hoping to stumble upon a 1-up though...

*SIGH*

Not forgetting:
A very Happy Birthday kepada si-Dia yang menyambut birthdaynya hari ni.

^__________^

The Rising Up

2008-09-17T12:50:00.013+08:00

First thing's first, I found Dr Pepper in Lot 10.

I'm keeping FIVE in the bedroom... and the rest will be oh-so neatly arranged in the pantry. Off limits to everyone but me. Of course.

Don't ask me how many cans I bought in all. LOL. Let's just say the cashier couldn't help but laugh at me. Yes, good luck carrying the bags to the car or train station, scrawny little Pepper maniac! - well he didn't exactly say that, but I bet he was thinkin it though - I was wearing my Pepper t-shirt while clearing out Isetan's stock; purely coincidence...

but are there really such things as coincidences I wonder?

A few new things:
new bottle of hand sanitizer, Hudson's Jujubes and a duck toy/keychain that actually goes QUACK!

Too bad we don't have this here. Be so cool to be able to hang hand sanitizers on... something. Or on everything.

I'm still downloading Monk. Five seasons already now. It's taken up so much disc space. My computer may begin to hate me. I know I'd hate someone if they forced things into my head and took up all the space there - which is why I hated most parts of law school. LOL.

Maybe I should consider investing in an external drive... they're not really that expensive anymore, are they? Maybe I can afford to - oh who am I kidding? Me being the kedekut that I am, I'd probably just sit around on my ass waiting for hand-me downs or something. How likely is that to happen?

Some serious stuff, my endo checkup on the 15th went well. I'm now okay to go on minus one type of medication. When it comes to drugs, less definitely IS more.

But I've been given some blood test forms to keep with me, just in case I should feel like some symptoms are coming back before my next appointment. And for the record, I got a new hospital card, but no new stickers. Bummer.

I've been off painkillers since the last time I was in the hospital (in May, before my exams) so that means I've been clean for FOUR months. I should wear a badge or carry a chip around, something like what members of NA get when they stay clean?

Mmm.

I have been doing nothing much but run around on road trips and buying things for people in need... I've cleaned out my closet and set aside clothes I no longer want. I've been online a whole lot, my modem screams for mercy on a daily basis, I hate the new Facebook and really don't get why some people actually love it. I ran out of books to read and dread on starting the Serial Killer book Kau lent to me.

I have made a cosmetics bag recently. Time to find something else to make.

I must always keep myself occupied.

Maybe I'll make this little darling?

Robots in disguise~ Yeah!

Comel betul. Aku kan suka gadget gadget ni...?

Speaking of gadgets, I spent half an hour standing in front of FotoFlash in KLCC last night, staring and gaping at Leicas like I was possessed until I was almost chased away. Almost.

RM18k and RM14k respectively.

Those two figures would add up into the price of a small car.

I like things looking ancient. Cameras from the World War are hot.

I like the Russian Zorki Model 1A *SIGH* If only...

If I had all the money in the world and I could buy anything, anything at all within the next heartbeat, THREE things I would buy:

1. The two Leicas. Why would I need two cameras? One's for using, the other is just a trophy. Figure out which is which.

2. The Samsonite Verana. Yeah, I have all the money in the world and I buy a $80 dollar bag? LOL. I don't like Coach or LV or any of that stuff. I'm not like that.

3. The company that makes Purell/Dettol/Savlon. I like being almost 99.99% germ free almost all the time. Wait. Should I buy Cadbury Schweppes instead? Then I'd always have Pepper.....

Tell me,

what would you buy?

The Rising Star

2008-09-12T23:56:00.017+08:00

Things have been pretty slow lately. As such my computer has not been switched off. Same goes for my modem. Kesian.

Have been downloading and watching Monk like a madman.

The Defective Detective.

Otherwise than that, I've been spying and stalking on unsuspecting bloggers, cleaned out my workspace and disinfected stuff, gotten rid of more evidence of a previous lifetime (as a hoarder), and went to Mead.com.

This looks absolutely cool. AKU NAK!

Planners.

Buku tulis kanak-kanak.
Aku pelik?

Sebab bosan, melayan kerenah dia ni.

Dia seekor anjing. Tapi nama dia lembu.
He smells. Sometimes he goes Moooo~
He always has on him this pouty, sad look. But he's a real darling. Follows me around all day and twirls around my legs.

Lembu memang macam ni.
He likes bread. He's always fighting with me for Gardenia slices. I guess it's true, you really can eat it on its own.

Saw this and just had to buy it. I'm using it to keep
1. earphones for phone
2. earphones for ds
3. SD cards and adaptors

Bergembira bersama Coleto!

Got my 2mm sharpener for RM2.50

Made this myself. To put my makeup in.
Grey with pink flowers, pink zipper. Jahit tangan keseluruhannya.

Keeps:
1 mineral powder
1 vitamin powder
1 concealer
1 bb cream
2 blush sticks
3 lipglosses
1 lipstick
1 lip balm pot
1 Dr Pepper raksasa stick
2 eye pencils
1 sharpener
2 types of brushes

Sounds like a lot ke?
But it's all I have now, ALL. So... clearing sessions huge success!

(just gotta make sure I don't go acquiring new things)

Say, is anybody else having problems with the Live Messenger? I have not been able to log in in days!

Sialan.

There are so many people I'm dying to have conversations with!!!

*SIGH*

Okay sudah.

I'm gonna go watch more Monk.

The Sleeping Star

2008-09-08T19:51:00.016+08:00

Half a morning, many smiles and four full vials later, I leave UMMC.

It's the first time I've had my blood drawn at UMMC and at first didn't know what to expect. Completely different from what I was used to in HUKM, but nevertheless the procedure was fairly simple - take a number, pay up front, wait for your number to be called, let the bloodsuckers work on you, say thank you, leave.

My attendant accidentally allowed the needle to slip out (causing precious blood to rush out) and had to stab me again. When asked whether I was in pain, I said it wasn't anything I'm not used to. She appreciated my good humor.

The wait itself was not very long. There were about 30 people in queue ahead of me when I got my number, but with six counters running one next to the other, I think all in all I waited about half an hour.

Not bad at all.

Better than HUKM I must say. I'm glad I made the switch.

Anyway, my appointment is on the 15th, that leaves just enough time for the lab to run all six or seven or however many tests it is they need to run.

With the empty stomach and the amount they took, I had anticipated dizzy spells. Nada. Lucky me.

In five months, I have managed to fill up my UMMC appointment card and finish up my first batch of stickers. Will I get a new card and more stickers on my next visit?

^____^

Spent the rest of the day at the pyramid while my dad runs off to Glenmarie to have a look at our car. Sometimes I think that car means more to him than..... no. Forget it.

So so so so so so so so...

I finally got myself something I've always always wanted ever since I was four feet tall: label maker.

And wouldn't you know it? I haven't been able to stop punching labels *SIGH*

Originally wanted to get the Dymo. That baby was WOW.

But the MoTEX was a good 20bucks cheaper. And looked more dated. So went with that one instead. Plus you can't beat that satisfying old school KTAP KTAP KTAP!!!

I used to label all my things with my name, but before I would print out my name on a piece of paper and stick it with cellophane tape. It wasn't the best way to label, but it fed my obsession so I lived with it.

But now, now the possibilities are endless!

ANAZ PUNYA. ANAZ PUNYA. ANAZ PUNYA. ANAZ PUNYA.

On stationery. On random objects. On furniture. On people?

LOL.

Also got the Dog Town journal since the Cat's Meow is full.

Peter Pauper is no pauper! Well, if he ever was, he no longer will be.

Trust me.

I left the house this morning with my DS - sans memory card. I had taken out the card yesterday evening to: install new software, tidy up a little and scan for viruses/infections, after which I forgot to stick the little piece of plastic back into the machine.

T________T

THINGS RECENTLY DISCOVERED:

ONE. POLYVORE

Stuff I wish was mine:

Stuff I really carry around:

Okay bohong. My hand cream isn't exactly like the one pictured, my eye pencil is from MAC not NARS, my blush stick is not the TokiDoki version, my pillbox is rectangle, Kleenex instead of Walgreens tissue, lilac wallet not purple.. black sharpie... kunci rumah bukan macam tu... er... the rest is pretty accurate.

Perlu lebih warna warni.

TWO. RAPIDSHARE

The One I have been relying on all this while for movies, tv series and mp3 is about to leave on a trip to Abu Dhabi. So I HAD to learn to downlowd things for myself.

Ha ha ha.

Tak semudah yang disangkakan. Definitely testing my patience.

THREE. I CAN'T SHARPEN MY 2mm PENCIL

Not with a knife, I can't. I need a sharpener *SIIIIIGH*

Sure, my pencil comes with a built in sharpener on the end... but it's hardly the same. It doesn't sharpen the tip to a needle-point that is oh-so necessary in stabbing annoying people.

FOUR. KUCING TAK SUKA KENA LABEL

LOL.

The Sleeping Fish

2008-09-07T15:01:00.012+08:00

Ah. The idle mind would threaten to waste away.

My journal has become more of a scrapbook lately - since right now I am ruled more by my wants than anything else. I'm cutting up pretty pictures of oh-so-desired objects, sticking them in and lusting over them in a very disgusting way.

Not a very good way to treat one's journal, but at least it's honest.

My blog has been treated the same as well. Oh well. La la la.

I have not bought anything substantial out of a want for awhile now. So the urge to go ahead and buy something is pretty strong at the moment.

• Last beli makeup: mineral makeup set yang split 3-ways tu.

• Last beli baju: dua helai t-shirt di Beijing. Sebab tak cukup pakaian (sebab tak bawak pakaian pergi)

• Last beli alat mainan: um. um. telephone ni I guess.

It's safe to say that all I've bought in the last 3 months were books. And books should never count. Ever. They are food for the brain, and just like food, tak patut berkira when it comes to buying.

After having successfully cleared out my hoarding-stash, I'm not in the mood to buy any makeup items. *GASP*

The only kind of pakaian I want to buy is the navy sailorfuku, but I need to think about it some more before I decide. Maybe I won't buy it after all. *GAASSPP*

And because I'm still dealing with the spillover from my last back-to-school haul, am also not interested in stationery. Much. *GAAASSSPPP*

(tapi kalau ada orang nak hadiahkan tu... I accept with arms wide open, of course :P)

So if I AM to buy anything right now, it would be toys. TOYS. TOOOYYYSSS.

At first I thought of buying the new Tamagotchi (!!!!!)

WOOOOOOOOOOT~!!!

Memang ingin, but something else caught my eye.

I'm can, and will, in no circumstances call myself a photographer. Not even an amateur one. BUT, I love cameras, and I absolutely do enjoy taking pictures with one.

A real camera that is. Not a digital one.

No offence.

The reason why I DO NOT own a digital camera (unlike all you people out there) is because digital photos don't mean as much to me. As such I will probably never buy a digital camera (but will readily accept hand-me-downs)

Back in the days of innocence and constant flow of pocket money, my faithful Nikon and I would break the bank with film and processing expenditure. We would take the most absurd and ridiculous shots, those not worthy of being shown to anyone at all - but we were alive and we had fun.

Ever since my Nikon went and killed itself, I could never bring myself to buying another 35mm.

Taking pictures has never been the same.

I know it's just more convenient, more practical and easier on the pockets to just point and shoot with something digital. Tak payah beli film, tak payah hantar pergi cuci... Just USB masuk computer je.

Tapi.

Those kind of shots tak dapat disentuh kan?

Simple you say: pergi hantar print!

But it's not the same is it?

With film, a lot more happens. Exposure. Developing. A one time opportunity, make it or break it shots.

I think it takes guts to capture something in a format that is so... real.

In the spirit of starting over and being more honest, I got this:

No no, it's not just a toy. Yes yes, it's a real camera.

A spy cam in fact. So much for being more honest kan? LOL.

But it was just too adorable to pass!

It runs on 110 films, that's gonna be a little tough to find (more so in KL) but I managed to get a batch on eBay for a very good price (kalau RM10 segulung tu okay la kan? 35mm pun dah berapa sekarang?)

Juga ingin (tapi kedekut) *ahem ahem*

Aku ni memang ada tendency untuk minat benda-benda yang nampak macam barang mainan kan?

Holga 120GCFN goes into the wishlist *SIGH*

I believe in very little things.

I believe in God. I believe in my three little codes. And I believe in things being real.

Being tangible.
And being subject to the laws of time.
And time dictates that everything must live,
must fade, and must die.

Now that I'm done with school (for awhile) I'll have a little more time to indulge in the things I've had to put on hold.

Reading.
Writing.
Drawing.
Painting.
Taking pictures.

And sleeping. Definitely sleeping.

While most of my classmates are back in school for the CLP or are working hard making a living or are packing in anticipation of leaving town, I am lying down in bed next to a pile of brightly colored plastic things.

Fish sleep with their eyes wide open, don't they?

The New Fish

2008-09-04T23:24:00.007+08:00

You know, after spending a day at the park with such good food, drinks and toys, you really can't bear living the adult life you've been forced to live all this while anymore.

You miss the old days of fishing innocence where the winner would be the guy who was either best at fishing or the one who was even better at stealing fishies.

Oh ikan oh ikaaaaaaaaaaaaan~

Oh man.

Magnetic attraction, how beautiful.

Ada yang lagi best, boleh pancing basikal, boot, broken bottle and tayar. How much more real can fishing get???

Yang simple ala-DIY pun nampak seronok juga.

Saw this on eBay, timbul rasa nak beli. LOL.

Hmmm. Kalau dah nak jadi kanak-kanak, why stop with fishing?

Yoyo comel!

GASING!

Okay, coincidence je the last one tu nama dia... *ahem*.

Whosoever starts telling me to grow up, I only say this; it's a good, wholesome way to have fun - that you can have in public and in broad daylight.

Sex and drugs and booze are all so over-rated.

The New Word

2008-09-02T13:22:00.014+08:00

I have been a little bit of a busy bee lately.

Unpacking. Melawat saudara mara dan sahabat handai. Distributing all things painfully imported from CN. Etc.

This much mail received in a 75-day period. Dibuka dan dibaca satu persatu.

I have been looking high and low for Dr. Pepper. Among the reasons I came back to KL was to drink Pepper - now it's been 6 days and I'm still dry.

Isetan setan.

I bought this on eBay while I was still in CN and had it delivered to KL (sebab takut kalau hantar ke CN akan hilang). So in the past six days of magnificant cravings I sniffed it like a junkie sniffing glue. Gila punya high.

It's much bigger than an ordinary stick of lip balm. It's about the size of a UHU glue stick actually. Slight reddish tint. Shiny. Gila manis. Smells stronger than the real thing. Probably will last me until the end of time a.k.a world destruction.

Rasa nak potong sikit and bancuh dengan air. LOL.

And then terjumpa this picture on the internet. DR. PEPPER LIPGLOSS!!!
OMG OMG OMG AKU INGIN!!!!!!!!!

PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER. PEPPER.

*SIGH*
For now I have to drink root beer instead.

And I dah pandai makan pudding with a fork.

(both taken before Ramadhan btw)

I have been playing Lunar Knights like a maniac. It's rarely often that I find an RPG that I like (the last time that happened was with Lufia) and now that I found love in Lunar Knights, my machine is constantly screaming and begging for mercy.

YAH TAKE THAT YOU *&^%$#@! MONSTERS!!!

I have horrible hand-eye-coordination and play with absolutely no strategy. Aku cuma suka tetak tetak dengan pedang je.

Amat sesuai untuk melepaskan geram.

I mabuk face masks. One night punya haul.

I have been told by a number of people that the TOEFL ni senang gila. Macam kacang goreng je. Mak aku sambil pejam mata je ambik periksa.

Ya.

I'm sticking with my workbook nonetheless. Because as recently proven, I suck at exams no matter how good I'm acquainted with the subject matter or how confident I am of it. Ha ha ha.

I suka gila makan Tesco's Rich Tea Biscuits cicah dengan English Breakfast Tea. In the spirit of nak jadi orang putih?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

(now in a different packaging though) RM 3.65

I want to go back to school shopping. Two problems:

1. pokai yang teramat
2. nothing interesting to buy in KL anyway

I seriously want to buy a navy sailorfuku.

But I think there are a lot of other better ways to spend USD49.99. Besides, where will I wear it to? Unlike the ones I always wear, these sailorfukus have over time, acquired a somewhat smutty reputation. *SIGH* People and their... imagination.

Okay sudah cukup.

I nak pergi sambung main Lunar Knights.

The Final Word

2008-08-29T20:12:00.011+08:00

Yep, I am in KL.
And much to people's dismay, I returned unannounced. LOL.

LLB results came out today.

Actually the results themselves came out last night on the internet - for those who were able to use the londonexternal link. What came out today were the result slips.

Let's see. Between road trips and flying across the continent, between getting the heart broken and sick and poisoned and hospitalized, I pulled through.

Now I can attach three more alphabets behind my name and say "Take that UoL!!!"

I think ATC is pretty desperate nak pancing orang suruh buat CLP. Every time a person walked into the hall to get his/her results, he/she would be met by a panel of persons eager to explain the merits of enrolling with ATC.

Haha.

Every single person received a mini lecture about the possibilities the future hold.

Haha.

I walked in, held up my hand and said
"I have no intentions to ever practice."

The panel was stunned.

"In fact I'm going to teach. Not practice."

And I escaped the room with my result slip minus the lecture. Yes folks, that's how it's done.

So what am I going to do next?

I don't know. First thing's first, study and sit for the TOEFL. My new best friend is a 2lb textbook.

Then what? Go back to school and get my second degree of course. Well it's either that or do the CLP. Haha.

Evidently I'm not the sort of person who does well in written exams. I don't ever finish at the top of the class, and unlike a certain sibling, am not sought after because of a couple of degrees that glow so brightly it puts the sun to shame.

But. I've never completed anything before in my entire life. Ever. Not even once. Twice an art-school drop out, I am anything BUT hardworking and persistent.

What kind of results could a person who texts friends in lectures, plays nintendo under her desk in class, sketches on textbook pages and never passes up assignments expect? Not a second class honours obviously.

I did it for four years, the longest time I've committed myself to anything. I wanted to give up so many times, both on the subject as well as on myself, but I didn't. Now I'm done. Come December 1st, I graduate. With honours.

Passing all the papers was a blessing. Getting decent results was a miracle. Having a few of my lecturers offering to write cover letters/letters of recommendation was icing on the cake.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

For now I'm going to enjoy whatever youth I still have left. If you just know you're going to be working for the rest of your life, why rush into it?

But I do need to figure out what to do with my time. You know you're lame when you start drawing the air-conditioning remote control and plug-points and sockets...

...and your mobile.

And this.

Those of you who work with 3D Max and Autocad and such who were about to dis my oh-so-simple drawings, please shut up. I'm a law major for God's sake...

Wait, a law graduate. LOL.

Who would've thought?

AJ Redmusketeer, LLB (Hons)
And I humbly bow down to He that be.

Yes folks, that's how it's done.

The Final Entry

2008-08-01T15:51:00.004+08:00

It's not at all easy to post an entry from this *&^%$#@! city. I think I'm going to just have to give up.

Internet cafes really are few and far between, but that's not entirely the problem. Even if I can find a terminal which claims to be internet ready, here's what could happen:

a. The internet runs smoothly, beautifully, yet the server blocks blogspot.

b. The internet is a little cranky, goes on and off, but blogspot is not blocked, then fatefully kills itself the minute I click PUBLISH POST.

c. The internet is beautiful, blogspot is accessible..... but I will choke to death from the cigarette smoke that has altogether replaced the air in the cafe.

d. Internet? sheme? (translation: what?) oooh~ meiyou! (oh, TAKDE!)

I think the spirit of Malaysia Boleh! only works in Malaysia.

Since this is probably going to be my last entry from Beijing, I'd like to answer some very persistent people with very persistent questions with very persistent NO's.

1. No, I have not set foot in the architectural wonder that is the national stadium of Chinese Olympics. The building is sealed. No, I have not even seen it up close. I HAVE however seen in from within a moving bus while on the way to IKEA.

2. No, I have not bought tickets to games. Contrary to what people have been misled to believe, I don't find the tickets anywhere near affordable since my income comes in the form of peanuts.

3. No, food is not a problem. In fact I have not stopped eating. I have put on so much weight that by the time I try to board the plane back to KL, I might not be allowed on. Are you kidding me folks?! Muslims are treated very well in this here red state.

4. No, I am not competing in the Olympics.

5. No, I've not met ANY athletes who will be competing in the Olympics.

6. No, people really don't speak any English here. Not even for the Olympics. No, my Mandarin has not gotten any better either

7. No, I haven't visited any of the tourist spots that I went to back in the winter. Quite frankly, after seeing the Great Wall so many times, it just aint so great anymore.

8. No, the summer heat is not unbearable at all. In fact, KL on average is a good 5°C hotter. But we don't get any rain here at all, so that makes it dryer. But not hotter.

9. No, I will not pick up the phone if you try to call me. Are you insane? If you call me on Maxis, I get billed RM7 per minute. If you call me on my chinese number, you'll drain out my credit even before you can say "Do you have enough credit for this?". So No, please don't call me.

10. And finally No, I still don't know when I'll be back in KL.

And now for some Yes's. (though not as many)

1. Yes, very simple sign languages and drawing pictures really do work. So don't worry so much about picking up the local language.

2. Yes, I'm still reading even though it's summer. I'm into Plato's Republic, More's Utopia, some Nietzsche and a thick 3-in-1 book of Cicero. Probably going to read Bleak House again. Yes, I plan to drive myself insane.

3. Yes, I will still come online from time to time, you can see me on msn in the day. If luck would have it, I might even be able to show my face on the webcam.

4. Yes, I will send postcards. Just give me your address if I don't already have it.

5. Yes, I might be in KL in time for my results. Because (if I remember correctly) the hospital also wants to see me about the same time.

My life here is very routine and repetitive, but not familiar. I wake up in the morning, attend to chores, go out, run errands, come home, watch Jonny, write nonsense in my journal, go to sleep.

On some days I go to the radio station. Some days aku pergi pasar and borong sayur sampai patah bahu nak angkat. On some days I go to the book building in the city. On some days I go to Walmart. On some days I hang out at the blue volunteers booth and annoy the heck out of those on duty there. Some days I go to the post office. Some days I go to the parks and draw. Other days I just stay in bed and read.

There's really nothing special about living here. I'm not a tourist, never have been. I have a six months visa and a residential permit with a permanent address, a transit card and a cafeteria card - aku tak jakun lagi.

I am however, indescribably annoyed with the Olympics and its absurd security measures. In the bus on the way here, an elderly lady who works with the voluntary force for the Public Security demanded to peek into my handbag. Obviously human rights article for the preservation of privacy is alien to her, so I didn't bother to protest.

And I am indeed appalled by the fact that after about seven weeks, I have finally picked up a summer tan. Now how am I supposed to dress up in my school uniforms and not look ganguro??? (okay kidding, I am not that dark and have not bleached my hair)

Oh how I miss my uniforms!!!

Okay then, it's time for me to bid one last adieu - it's time for me to leave this dark room and go hunting for some DURIAN. And yes, sini ada durian. And no, tak mahal pun.

Whosoever that gets the feeling like I've left them behind, I'm so sorry. And those who think they've been brushed aside, I'm sorrier still. There was indeed something I wanted to run away from, someone to be exact, but if you're reading this (ie; my blog) then it isn't you, and I sincerely apologize if my flight has wounded you.

Dearest Kau,
tak sabarnya nak jumpa kau!!! Sudah terlalu lama kita tak berjumpa/berbual/bergossip ya?? XD Datanglah! Datanglah!

Dearest Mermaid,
hang in there ya? kita memang tak dapat menjangka rezeki dariNya. InsyaAllah we will meet again dan berYukata!

Dearest Jade,
don't work yourself too hard. Enjoy the holidays, you won't have much of them anymore once you really commit yourself to an office!

Dearest Matahari,
you have aided me and illuminated the darkest parts of me and for that I must thank you. But at the same time I'm feeling a little burnt. A little cooked. But you are probably shining too brightly to see that.

Dearest Darcy,
you are still in the habit of asking me questions at the very moment when I cannot answer them. I still feel the same way about you, but we've both learnt that if we only had that, then we're definitely short.

Dearest Hart,
you left a few wounds in me that are still raw even today, I give you that. But you once prophesized that I will be miserable for the rest of my life because of the way I am? You were wrong.

Dearest Bonny,
what you need is a big hug and if you would just close your eyes you would know that we are only separated by distance if we allow the map to come into the picture. Hang in there!

Until we meet again,

Oh how I am alive!