The Mushroom Grows
朋友们，你好。
Oh has it really been that long since I updated?
Haha.
Okay, actually the lack of internet is not the real problem. It's the kemalasan that has stood between me and any new entries here.
I've been online quite regularly, once or twice a week, every other week at least. Those who have received regular emails from me, tahniah! Those who haven't... er.. I must apologize. It's not that you mean less, or that news from you is not as important - but it takes two to tango, kan?
Doesn't matter. Anyway
Life here?
For obvious reasons, it's cold.
They say winter started officially on November 15th. And who is this "they"? The government. Isn't so cool when somebody just sets the date and the whole country's heating system goes on? We have no need for meteorological studies anymore. Just point to a day on the calendar and hey presto!
Waitaminute? If winter starts in November and spring in March... berapa bulan sejuk tu? Aiyo.
Temperature fluctuate violently. One minute it could be bearable, the next minute your fingers have gone missing (frozen solid and senseless) Now your head aches from being overdressed, later it aches from being underdressed.
I have not really really seen the sun in two days. Terasa rindu akan kehangatan ia. There are no more leaves on trees, and those evergreen ones are covered in army green canvas to prevent them from dying in the snow - should snow come. Some river and lakes have started to ice over. Eating ice cream in a public place now is considered to be an act of lunacy.
I have been getting around.
I've been taking people on tour of the city. Well more like a tour of the ancient capital.
The Forbidden Palace (actually it's no longer called the Forbidden Palace since it's... no longer forbidden. They call it the Palace Museum now. Let's get that straight) is must. Along with TianAnMen Square across the street from it (site of the student massacre)
The Summer Palace, Ming Tombs, The Great Wall at Badaling, the Temple of Heaven those are all favorite tourist spots. I'm great with ancient history, so I can talk and point and satisfy the need to know.
Unfortunately I'm not very good at satisfying the need to feed. Kalau nak mintak bawak pergi good restaurants or nak makan itik panggang or that sort of stuff, maaf. This guide packs her own food wherever she goes.
But most of my guests are all sengkek/kedekut/on a tight budget, so it works out. LOL. Imagine just how curious the chinese were to see a bunch of tourists all huddled together on a bench eating nasi himpit and sambal tumis ikan bilis and serunding.
ROCK ON WEST SIDE!!!
The brother and I showing Beijingites how it's done. LOL.
I would love to upload more pictures of myself, but unfortunately I have no camera at the moment. My cellhone rosak. Jatuh dalam... air. Let's not get into the details. I'm now using Nokia1200 which my brother lovingly bought for me. Phone hebat yang tiada apa-apa, but has a built in flashlight. HAHAHAHAHA seronok. He chose it because it was the cheapest phone in the store. Lovingly indeed.
Besides, it's a little embarassing that in all my pictures, I will appear to be wearing the same clothes over and over and over again.
See? These were all taken on different days. The reason for this: I'm too broke to buy clothes. HAHAHAHAHA.
But the great thing about cold weather is that nobody freakin cares what you wear. You could be wearing the exact same thing for thirty days straight and nobody would make a big deal out of it (except for my mom that is)
Besides, my sin is not that great; I wear my clothes for weeks before throwing it into the wash - but I shower daily. Most people here don't even shower. In fact I'm not surprised if they've stopped showering completely the minute the government announced it was winter. They smell like death.
And I wouldn't be surprised at all if the flowers are already blooming the next time they grab for that bath towel...
Okay gross. Enough.
I don't sweat. So my clothes don't smell. I shower. So I don't smell.
And I carry my Dr Pepper lip balm to sniff on when I'm in a crowd. My mom suggested tiger balm, but I say lip smackers are not to be reckoned with. It's so heavily perfumed (which is actually not a very good ting) that it overpowers anything else in the atmosphere.
Dead skunks? Rotting human flesh? Nope, can't smell em.
These things are called BingTangHuLu
Hawthorn dipped in caramel and poked through with a long sharp stick. Think: candied apples. But processed lebih violently.
I personally prefer the strawberry ones, but they're not as easy to find. Hawthorn on a stick is the traditional cold weather treat. Yes cold weather, they won't survive the summer heat. I've waited the entire year to eat these again, and they've definitely contributed to a bulging waistline.
No, not even my superhuman metabolic rate can burn of the sugar in these things. But then again, I eat them on a daily basis.
And what are hawthorns? Well, you know those little haw flakes we eat? Ala... yang selalu curi makan dalam class tu... This is what they're made of. Hawthorn. Masam. And banyak biji. Pain in the ass to pick out the seeds, but worth it.
Other variations: kiwi, tangerines, grapes... anything that can go on a stick really. This is where imagination comes in... LOL.
Okay, this is it.
Time for me to get on that bus and find my way home.
再见。
AJ Redmusketeer
in Shijingshan, China.
Oh has it really been that long since I updated?
Haha.
Okay, actually the lack of internet is not the real problem. It's the kemalasan that has stood between me and any new entries here.
I've been online quite regularly, once or twice a week, every other week at least. Those who have received regular emails from me, tahniah! Those who haven't... er.. I must apologize. It's not that you mean less, or that news from you is not as important - but it takes two to tango, kan?
Doesn't matter. Anyway
Life here?
For obvious reasons, it's cold.
They say winter started officially on November 15th. And who is this "they"? The government. Isn't so cool when somebody just sets the date and the whole country's heating system goes on? We have no need for meteorological studies anymore. Just point to a day on the calendar and hey presto!
Waitaminute? If winter starts in November and spring in March... berapa bulan sejuk tu? Aiyo.
Temperature fluctuate violently. One minute it could be bearable, the next minute your fingers have gone missing (frozen solid and senseless) Now your head aches from being overdressed, later it aches from being underdressed.
I have not really really seen the sun in two days. Terasa rindu akan kehangatan ia. There are no more leaves on trees, and those evergreen ones are covered in army green canvas to prevent them from dying in the snow - should snow come. Some river and lakes have started to ice over. Eating ice cream in a public place now is considered to be an act of lunacy.
I have been getting around.
I've been taking people on tour of the city. Well more like a tour of the ancient capital.
The Forbidden Palace (actually it's no longer called the Forbidden Palace since it's... no longer forbidden. They call it the Palace Museum now. Let's get that straight) is must. Along with TianAnMen Square across the street from it (site of the student massacre)
The Summer Palace, Ming Tombs, The Great Wall at Badaling, the Temple of Heaven those are all favorite tourist spots. I'm great with ancient history, so I can talk and point and satisfy the need to know.
Unfortunately I'm not very good at satisfying the need to feed. Kalau nak mintak bawak pergi good restaurants or nak makan itik panggang or that sort of stuff, maaf. This guide packs her own food wherever she goes.
But most of my guests are all sengkek/kedekut/on a tight budget, so it works out. LOL. Imagine just how curious the chinese were to see a bunch of tourists all huddled together on a bench eating nasi himpit and sambal tumis ikan bilis and serunding.
ROCK ON WEST SIDE!!!
The brother and I showing Beijingites how it's done. LOL.
I would love to upload more pictures of myself, but unfortunately I have no camera at the moment. My cellhone rosak. Jatuh dalam... air. Let's not get into the details. I'm now using Nokia1200 which my brother lovingly bought for me. Phone hebat yang tiada apa-apa, but has a built in flashlight. HAHAHAHAHA seronok. He chose it because it was the cheapest phone in the store. Lovingly indeed.
Besides, it's a little embarassing that in all my pictures, I will appear to be wearing the same clothes over and over and over again.
See? These were all taken on different days. The reason for this: I'm too broke to buy clothes. HAHAHAHAHA.
But the great thing about cold weather is that nobody freakin cares what you wear. You could be wearing the exact same thing for thirty days straight and nobody would make a big deal out of it (except for my mom that is)
Besides, my sin is not that great; I wear my clothes for weeks before throwing it into the wash - but I shower daily. Most people here don't even shower. In fact I'm not surprised if they've stopped showering completely the minute the government announced it was winter. They smell like death.
And I wouldn't be surprised at all if the flowers are already blooming the next time they grab for that bath towel...
Okay gross. Enough.
I don't sweat. So my clothes don't smell. I shower. So I don't smell.
And I carry my Dr Pepper lip balm to sniff on when I'm in a crowd. My mom suggested tiger balm, but I say lip smackers are not to be reckoned with. It's so heavily perfumed (which is actually not a very good ting) that it overpowers anything else in the atmosphere.
Dead skunks? Rotting human flesh? Nope, can't smell em.
These things are called BingTangHuLu
Hawthorn dipped in caramel and poked through with a long sharp stick. Think: candied apples. But processed lebih violently.
I personally prefer the strawberry ones, but they're not as easy to find. Hawthorn on a stick is the traditional cold weather treat. Yes cold weather, they won't survive the summer heat. I've waited the entire year to eat these again, and they've definitely contributed to a bulging waistline.
No, not even my superhuman metabolic rate can burn of the sugar in these things. But then again, I eat them on a daily basis.
And what are hawthorns? Well, you know those little haw flakes we eat? Ala... yang selalu curi makan dalam class tu... This is what they're made of. Hawthorn. Masam. And banyak biji. Pain in the ass to pick out the seeds, but worth it.
Other variations: kiwi, tangerines, grapes... anything that can go on a stick really. This is where imagination comes in... LOL.
Okay, this is it.
Time for me to get on that bus and find my way home.
再见。
AJ Redmusketeer
in Shijingshan, China.
