The Things imPlanted
For very obvious reasons,
I absolutely love this...
Today's entry will be all about lists.
Nothing but lists.
Proof I am not human:
1. I don't sweat
2. I change color according to surrounding circumstances
3. I never make plans for the future
4. I like to smell and lick things
5. Sunlight recharges my energy bar...
6. ...on a cloudy day, alkaline batteries make do
7. I remember those I meet according to their smell/voice
8. Water erodes my skin
9. I communicate with animals successfully
10. I consume more sugar than I breathe air
Human things I do:
1. Tolerate people
2. Brush my teeth twice a day
3. Buy things off the internet
4. Worry about what is to come
5. Eat food
6. Discriminate against certain kinds of people
7. Obsess over my appearance
8. Gossip
9. Wear socks
10. Have feelings
Human things I hate doing:
1. Brushing my hair
2. Going to the bathroom
3. Lending things out to other people
4. Waiting in line
5. Delivering bad news
6. Answering the door to the mailman/delivery guy
7. Reading the papers
8. Shaking hands
9. Fighting for the remote control
10. Breathing
Human things I love doing:
1. Reading mail (both email and snail mail)
2. Disinfecting things (wait, do other human beings do this?)
3. Singing when no one is listening
4. Dancing when no one is looking
5. Talking
6. Joining online communities and then abandoning them
7. Smiling for no apparent reason (.....)
8. Curling up in my blanket on a rainy night
9. Hanging on the phone
10. Kissing
Human things I do not do:
1. Spit
2. Litter
3. PDAs
4. Smoke
5. Drink
6. Drive
7. Eat at a mamak stall
8. Stay out at night
9. Have casual sex (or any sex at all LOL)
10. Have a life
Human things that don't bother me:
1. Street racing
2. Waiting in line AT THE BANK or POST OFFICE
3. Living next door to an axe murderer
4. Messages/calls in the middle of the night
5. Peculiar habits like the constant clicking of a pen
6. Cooking for and picking up after someone
7. Dressing up the same way every single day
8. Waiting through long (illegal) download time
9. Tiny seats and lousy food on airplanes
10. Hitler and the rise of his evil
Human things that do bother me:
1. Complain about uniforms, but then deck out in apparels similar to one another
2. The lack of manners
3. The lack of communication skills
4. Slapstick comedy. Seriously
5. Governments of the people, by the people, and for the people
6. The disrespect for other forms of life
7. War
8. The rebonding phenomenon
9. How shoes on display shelves are always in sizes 5 or 6
10. Procreation!!! Please stop adding to the population!
And.....
Inhuman things I do:
1. Plan world destruction.
2. Plan world destruction in detail.
Okay, okay, I lied.
There are other things.
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?
Sadly, yes. Tapi rasa dia sangat POWER!
What are you wearing?
A gray tennis dress. I don't play tennis though.
Furthest place you ever traveled?
To another planet. Or was it dimension? I'm not sure, I was so high on drugs. Far out!
Favorite pizza toppings?
Cheese. My ideal pizza is a non-existing double decker stuffed crust cheese pizza.
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
In a previous life. I've yet to grow tomatoes in this lifetime.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
OMG is this a trick question???
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
I would prefer finding true love in a millionaire.
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Madame Fate (MCF). Turns out it was a beta. Need to download again then...
Do you have cable?
No, I'm solar powered (and sometimes run on batteries) Oh wait, you meant my tv? Yes.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?
Sammy is empty
What do you think about most?
Seriously? World destruction.
I absolutely love this...
Today's entry will be all about lists.
Nothing but lists.
Proof I am not human:
1. I don't sweat
2. I change color according to surrounding circumstances
3. I never make plans for the future
4. I like to smell and lick things
5. Sunlight recharges my energy bar...
6. ...on a cloudy day, alkaline batteries make do
7. I remember those I meet according to their smell/voice
8. Water erodes my skin
9. I communicate with animals successfully
10. I consume more sugar than I breathe air
Human things I do:
1. Tolerate people
2. Brush my teeth twice a day
3. Buy things off the internet
4. Worry about what is to come
5. Eat food
6. Discriminate against certain kinds of people
7. Obsess over my appearance
8. Gossip
9. Wear socks
10. Have feelings
Human things I hate doing:
1. Brushing my hair
2. Going to the bathroom
3. Lending things out to other people
4. Waiting in line
5. Delivering bad news
6. Answering the door to the mailman/delivery guy
7. Reading the papers
8. Shaking hands
9. Fighting for the remote control
10. Breathing
Human things I love doing:
1. Reading mail (both email and snail mail)
2. Disinfecting things (wait, do other human beings do this?)
3. Singing when no one is listening
4. Dancing when no one is looking
5. Talking
6. Joining online communities and then abandoning them
7. Smiling for no apparent reason (.....)
8. Curling up in my blanket on a rainy night
9. Hanging on the phone
10. Kissing
Human things I do not do:
1. Spit
2. Litter
3. PDAs
4. Smoke
5. Drink
6. Drive
7. Eat at a mamak stall
8. Stay out at night
9. Have casual sex (or any sex at all LOL)
10. Have a life
Human things that don't bother me:
1. Street racing
2. Waiting in line AT THE BANK or POST OFFICE
3. Living next door to an axe murderer
4. Messages/calls in the middle of the night
5. Peculiar habits like the constant clicking of a pen
6. Cooking for and picking up after someone
7. Dressing up the same way every single day
8. Waiting through long (illegal) download time
9. Tiny seats and lousy food on airplanes
10. Hitler and the rise of his evil
Human things that do bother me:
1. Complain about uniforms, but then deck out in apparels similar to one another
2. The lack of manners
3. The lack of communication skills
4. Slapstick comedy. Seriously
5. Governments of the people, by the people, and for the people
6. The disrespect for other forms of life
7. War
8. The rebonding phenomenon
9. How shoes on display shelves are always in sizes 5 or 6
10. Procreation!!! Please stop adding to the population!
And.....
Inhuman things I do:
1. Plan world destruction.
2. Plan world destruction in detail.
Okay, okay, I lied.
There are other things.
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?
Sadly, yes. Tapi rasa dia sangat POWER!
What are you wearing?
A gray tennis dress. I don't play tennis though.
Furthest place you ever traveled?
To another planet. Or was it dimension? I'm not sure, I was so high on drugs. Far out!
Favorite pizza toppings?
Cheese. My ideal pizza is a non-existing double decker stuffed crust cheese pizza.
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
In a previous life. I've yet to grow tomatoes in this lifetime.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
OMG is this a trick question???
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
I would prefer finding true love in a millionaire.
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Madame Fate (MCF). Turns out it was a beta. Need to download again then...
Do you have cable?
No, I'm solar powered (and sometimes run on batteries) Oh wait, you meant my tv? Yes.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?
Sammy is empty
What do you think about most?
Seriously? World destruction.
