The Heart Nought
When I woke up at 6.30 this morning, the first thing I felt told me it was going to be a lousy day. A lousy, lousy day.
My sick eye was somewhat glued shut and I had to literally peel it open. WHAT IS GOING ON??
Now I've finished an entire course of antibiotics, but not only was there no signs of improvement... it has actually gotten worse! Okay, I don't actually know how medication works, but I was under the impression that medicines should make the taker feel better - and not aggravate an already existing condition...?
Huh.
Booked a spot at my brother's eye clinic, but the soonest they could fit me in would be on Friday at noon. That's what? Two and a half more days of pure torture?
I guess I shouldn't complain.
Things could be worse...
and from what people keep telling me, things could be a lot lot lot worse.
Okay fine.
What made the day worse was the discovery of a dying pet.
If the reader remembers, I buried Ash not more than 3 weeks ago. Today I had to bury a hamster.
When I discovered him, he was quietly (though I suppose not peacefully - death is always painful no?) slipping away. I have seen it many times. So many times that I recognized it the very second I saw him.
Though I had the use of only one hand, and I received many offers for the digging of the grave, painful as it was, I ploughed through the ground under the bamboo tree in the front yard.
That's where all the hamsters from my entire hamster clan rest and today, this hamster is reunited with his family.
My hands trembled the entire time, but I believed it was something I just needed to do myself.
It was, and is, the only way I know to say goodbye.
And I said my goodbye.
And I cried.
And I cried.
And I cried.
And for those of you who are wondering why I would cry so much over the death of a hamster, I'll tell you now.
Every time someone or something I love passes on, it always reminds me that I too am mortal, and that I too will have to deal with mortality.
The longer the time I spend with a pet, the more mortal I will feel when the pet passes on.
This hamster I've had for more than two years.
This hamster jumps up and down every morning when it sees me wake up.
But he was already very old.
While I'm always ready to pick myself up and move on with life (and with living), today I find that even the sun cannot recharge me.
I looked up at the sky and felt nothing.
Why on earth am I suddenly so weakened?
The crying made the condition of the sick eye worse still, and that effectively put me out of any mood to attend Criminology.
The amusing thing is, my being missing from class fueled a lot of curiosity. Donny claims the lecturer/tutor was upset. Haha.
I have never missed any classes. Especially not Criminology (no matter how horribly boring/frustrating it always is). Today, instead of writing feverishly in class, I was curled up in my blanket, soaking the dancing cow pillow with tears.
Then my mom and I went to a bathroom fixture emporium to look at toilet bowls.
On a day like today, even toilet bowls appear more appealing than Criminology.
So haha again.
Well, I did not skip Jurisprudence, so I guess I'm not all that broken after all.
Mr. Amerjit's class is always enjoyable.
Always always.
He makes me smile. I always have a spot for those who make me smile.
What came in the mail today brought a tiny smile onto my face.
My awaited set of Sharpies!!!
It's obvious, 24 pieces of colorful goodness would definitely help ease (though not completely wipe out) this girl's suffering.
Now let's find things to vandalize or scribble/doodle on...
With the amount of painkillers I'm taking for the sick eye, I should be high and euphoric. But still I'm not.
Perhaps the markers will help fix this.
LOL.
Well anyway, the person who insisted on extending friendship to me did not talk to me at all today despite the fact we were in close proximity several times during the evening.
This person talked to the person next to me, talked to another person nearby, but completely ignored me. Did not even so much as glance towards me.
Now I don't know what brought on this change, but whatever it is, I hope things stay this way.
I have precious things to protect...
With that, I shall turn in for the night.
It's been quite a day, and I look forward to ending it.
Hopefully tomorrow the sun will recharge me...
My sick eye was somewhat glued shut and I had to literally peel it open. WHAT IS GOING ON??
Now I've finished an entire course of antibiotics, but not only was there no signs of improvement... it has actually gotten worse! Okay, I don't actually know how medication works, but I was under the impression that medicines should make the taker feel better - and not aggravate an already existing condition...?
Huh.
Booked a spot at my brother's eye clinic, but the soonest they could fit me in would be on Friday at noon. That's what? Two and a half more days of pure torture?
I guess I shouldn't complain.
Things could be worse...
and from what people keep telling me, things could be a lot lot lot worse.
Okay fine.
What made the day worse was the discovery of a dying pet.
If the reader remembers, I buried Ash not more than 3 weeks ago. Today I had to bury a hamster.
When I discovered him, he was quietly (though I suppose not peacefully - death is always painful no?) slipping away. I have seen it many times. So many times that I recognized it the very second I saw him.
Though I had the use of only one hand, and I received many offers for the digging of the grave, painful as it was, I ploughed through the ground under the bamboo tree in the front yard.
That's where all the hamsters from my entire hamster clan rest and today, this hamster is reunited with his family.
My hands trembled the entire time, but I believed it was something I just needed to do myself.
It was, and is, the only way I know to say goodbye.
And I said my goodbye.
And I cried.
And I cried.
And I cried.
And for those of you who are wondering why I would cry so much over the death of a hamster, I'll tell you now.
Every time someone or something I love passes on, it always reminds me that I too am mortal, and that I too will have to deal with mortality.
The longer the time I spend with a pet, the more mortal I will feel when the pet passes on.
This hamster I've had for more than two years.
This hamster jumps up and down every morning when it sees me wake up.
But he was already very old.
While I'm always ready to pick myself up and move on with life (and with living), today I find that even the sun cannot recharge me.
I looked up at the sky and felt nothing.
Why on earth am I suddenly so weakened?
The crying made the condition of the sick eye worse still, and that effectively put me out of any mood to attend Criminology.
The amusing thing is, my being missing from class fueled a lot of curiosity. Donny claims the lecturer/tutor was upset. Haha.
I have never missed any classes. Especially not Criminology (no matter how horribly boring/frustrating it always is). Today, instead of writing feverishly in class, I was curled up in my blanket, soaking the dancing cow pillow with tears.
Then my mom and I went to a bathroom fixture emporium to look at toilet bowls.
On a day like today, even toilet bowls appear more appealing than Criminology.
So haha again.
Well, I did not skip Jurisprudence, so I guess I'm not all that broken after all.
Mr. Amerjit's class is always enjoyable.
Always always.
He makes me smile. I always have a spot for those who make me smile.
What came in the mail today brought a tiny smile onto my face.
My awaited set of Sharpies!!!
It's obvious, 24 pieces of colorful goodness would definitely help ease (though not completely wipe out) this girl's suffering.
Now let's find things to vandalize or scribble/doodle on...
With the amount of painkillers I'm taking for the sick eye, I should be high and euphoric. But still I'm not.
Perhaps the markers will help fix this.
LOL.
Well anyway, the person who insisted on extending friendship to me did not talk to me at all today despite the fact we were in close proximity several times during the evening.
This person talked to the person next to me, talked to another person nearby, but completely ignored me. Did not even so much as glance towards me.
Now I don't know what brought on this change, but whatever it is, I hope things stay this way.
I have precious things to protect...
With that, I shall turn in for the night.
It's been quite a day, and I look forward to ending it.
Hopefully tomorrow the sun will recharge me...
